It's not said how Roy put out the head fire this time, but one hopes that he attempted to dip his dome into a nearby river, only to find that the river had run completely dry, so he had to rub it against tree bark until it was finally quelled. Either way, the ink had hardly dried on Roy's Guinness section before they needed to update the strike count.
The sixth time Roy straight up lied to everybo- I'm sorry, was struck by lightning was a few years later. I'm going to need you guys to suspend your disbelief for just one second here and please bear with me: Roy Sullivan was once again alone, with no witnesses nearby, when he was struck. This time, Roy seems to have really phoned it in. There's no documentation of any sort of notable bodily harm, no fantastical story. Roy was simply walking along a trail while on duty when he was hit.
As with all great artists, they sometimes lose their spark as they age. Springsteen hasn't put out a genuinely good song in decades, DeNiro is just cashing paychecks these days, and Roy Sullivan didn't feel the need to add much flair to his sixth lightninging. Just send it over to Guinness and tell them to update his damn section, please and thank you.
Related: The 7 Most Bizarrely Unlucky People Who Ever Lived
Roy, though, had one last shocker in him. The seventh and final strike was a doozy.
Roy had finally retired, so he decided to move to a place where it doesn't storm and he would stay inside and watch TV all day and never, ever go outside again under any circumstances. I'm joshing, he went right back down to the park to throw the double birds at fate once more. He was fishing in a stream -- all alone, with no witnesses nearby -- when this one hit. His head was struck once more, his body was burned, and some holes were ripped in his shirt and pants.
And once again, this either happened and we are taking his word for it, or Roy Hulk-Hoganed his shirt and held a lighter to his nipples for a little bit. Either option is super weird and inexplicable in its own way. But Roy knew that if his final comeback song was going top the charts, he'd need a little more spice. He claimed to have pulled himself back to the truck, where he was met by a hungry black bear, who was interested in the fish still hanging from his line.
Despite being freshly incinerated, Roy asserted that he was able to fight the bear off and make his way to the car with his life -- and fish -- fully intact.
Somewhere along the way in telling this story, Roy also noted that this was the 22nd time he had successfully fought a bear. This is the adult version of a kid finding the limits of exactly how much they can get away with before someone puts an end to their shit. People were giving Roy the platform to spit this nonsense as absolute fact, and he thought, What the hell, I'll throw some killer bear stuff in there too and see if they run with it.
The reality is that we'll never truly know the whole story here. Roy took his record to the grave, and it has yet to be matched. It's been almost unanimously accepted in print and legend, despite the questionable lack of proof and even more incredible idea that someone was struck by lightning seven times and didn't at least tie the record for World's Deadest Man.
I would love to believe you, Roy. Your story is incredible, a wild folk tale come to life. But I cannot. Articles about Roy Sullivan like to point out that the odds of being struck by lightning seven times in your life are 4.15 in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. Well, I'm putting the odds that Roy was telling the truth at 4.14 in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
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