Letâs play a game. Weâll call it: How Hot Is THAT? Iâll give you some factual information and you tell me how hot it is. (Iâll play along too):
Well, Iâve never been that big a fan, and thinking about Tom Cruise making out with her ---or thinking about Cruz hanging around waiting for Tom Cruise to make out with her--- is kind of a buzzkill. Still, Penelope Cruz, yâknow? So Iâm giving that a 7 out of 10 on the prurient interests hotness scale.
2. Penelope Cruz is playing one of two translators asked to translate a Spanish Lesbian porn film.
Wow. Bet you didnât see that coming. O.K. Now weâre talking a serious 8.
3. At one point during the video, Penelope Cruz starts making out with the other female Spanish translator.
Gooooaaaaaaaal!!!!!!!!!!!! Thatâs got to be a solid 9.
4. The other translator is played by Penelopeâs real life sister.
Uuuuhhhh, hmmmmâ¦.. Yeah, Iâm going to abstain from voting. After all, I just did a barely illegal Hannah Montana post this week. But hey, you feel free to place your votes in the comments below.UPDATE! THANKS TO THE COMMENTS BELOW AND YOUTUBE: ___ Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
This should have resulted in years of therapy.
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.