But all presidents play golf. And if all presidents do it, then dammit, what's the point of all of this if Trump isn't the best presidential golfer of all time? And how are we supposed to know if he is or isn't the best presidential golfer of all time if he doesn't release his scorecards, which he's never made public?
Russia, that's where you come in.
"I'm listening ..."
Only you, with your vast armies of scraggly hackers crammed into nondescript Moscow office buildings that reek of Red Bull and roasted moose lips can hack into whatever the natural habitat of a scorecard is and release them. The American people deserve to learn Trump's true golf handicap. It's a vital piece of information that will be used to determine if our president needs to devote more time to governing or to his chip shots from the rough.