Newspaper comic strips have had a rough time lately. From bizarrely hilarious and subversively scathing internet parodies to straight-up Internet-hate, they seem to only be funny to us anymore when we're using meta-humor to point out their idiocy. That's why it was an act of the utmost faith in the goodness of mankind for Scott Adams to allow users to generate their own punchlines to his daily Dilbert strips. You can view my first round of attempts below, but I'm officially requesting all Cracked Blog readers to get on this. I want to see you guys outdo Scott (and me), and do it with so many dick references and with such frequency that his servers crash out of disgust. You have your assignment, people. Post links to your masterpieces in the comments section.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.
These stories remind us what unlimited wealth and power can do to a human being.
Can we rest?