You might remember Niantic as the small mobile game company which took Pokemon, one of the biggest media franchises the world has ever seen, and turned it into Pokemon Go, a mobile augmented reality game that we all adored for about a month until we realized it was terrible and broken. Now, in a further example of large-scale mediocrity being confused with quality, Niantic has been given the chance to create an AR mobile game for another beloved multi-billion-dollar franchise: Harry Potter.
One of the complaints about Pokemon Go was how it was a broken piece of s**t that Niantic almost outright refused to fix. It was a glitchy catastrophe that would often cause more frustration than satisfaction. And that, Harry Potter fans, is all yours now! Congratulations! Enjoy the one month you actually like the game before its extreme limitations render it too frustrating to play!
With Pokemon, Niantic thought that they were dealing with nerds, who tend to get irritable when you don't nail every tiny detail of the property they've entwined with their souls like a Horcrux. But now they're dealing with ultra-mega-turbo nerds in Harry Potter fans, who will stone them in the town square should they get any details wrong. With Pokemon Go, they can be excused for making Psyduck appear in an urban area when it should be appearing near water. Accidentally have Ron holding Hermione's wand in an illustration on a loading screen, and Niantic's offices will be overcome by swarms of angry nerds (and when in an enraged frenzy, they can skeletonize a cow in mere seconds). Potter fans represent a whole new level of diehard extremists who regard those books and movies like Holy Scripture worthy of starting a war to defend.
We wish Niantic luck in their valiant crusade to rattle nerd cages, but we also offer fair warning: Don't ever make a game based on a beloved anime, unless you're in the business of having your life utterly decimated by nerd rage.
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Movies are never more unrealistic than when they're showing us exactly what a dollar can buy.