I bring to the table a question that has been posed for centuries, an eternal conundrum that speaks to the very heart of our times and culture: what’s cooler; just having a machine gun, or punching someone in the face?
On the one hand, rapper T.I. was arrested
right before he was to present at the BET Awards for the illegal possession of “several firearms,” and for attempting to negotiate the purchase of some machine guns
. I guess T.I.’s enemies are coming in flocks nowadays. And for the record, “several” means nine, many of which were loaded, and one of which was in T.I.’s car between the driver’s seat and the center console. I know I’m always losing shit down there.
On the other hand, hip-hoppist P. Diddy has gotten in legal trouble
in the last two weeks for punching people in the face, or having people punched in the face (in one incident, Diddy’s bodyguards did the actual punching). Once, he even “bloodied the man’s nose,” so this isn’t any kind of pantywaist slap fight we’re talking about, this is an honest-to-goodness throwdown.
But the question remains: while both of these men are undeniably cool and should be emulated by children, which is the coolest? T.I. for having the guns, or P. Diddy for not having guns but getting into violent confrontations anyway? And, let’s be honest, he’s probably also got some guns.
I leave it to you to decide, but here are some things to take into account when weighing this important decision:
T.I. Cool Points
: Sold crack as a youth, and is already a convicted felon.
T. I. Uncool Points:
Was turned in by his own bodyguard, who was trying to buy guns on his behalf from an undercover ATF agent; has won two Grammy Awards.
P. Diddy Cool Points:
Got in no less than two fistfights over a woman, unleashed his bodyguards on someone like they were German Shepherds.
P. Diddy Neutral Points, depending on your outlook:
Has at some point had his penis inside of Jennifer Lopez.
P. Diddy Uncool Points:
Voluntarily changed his name to P. Diddy.
The debate rages on!
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