You keep your liberal boners away from sweet Lady Liberty, pinko! And while it could be said that stocking up on a small but furious countryâs worth of firearms in order to fight a demographic that is largely armed with optimism and a can-do attitude is a bit of an overreaction, some people see every act of this new administration as a sign of the impending apocalypse, no matter how retarded that might seem:
The day after Election day, gun sales immediately spiked to a record high - mostly out of concern that the new administration would outlaw firearms for private citizen's use, and only slightly for fear that Obama himself was going to come to every single NRA memberâs house that night and steal their childrens' life force to feed his all-consuming hunger for innocence. Seriously, according to these forum members, that was a genuine fear:
Say hello to your new overlords. What, you haven't heard of them? Psh. Yeah, you wouldn't have.But even assuming Obama does use this proposed bill to gain access to a top-secret army of left-leaning twenty-somethings - that just begs another question: What are you more afraid of? Their deadly mastery of the Liberal Arts, or their uncanny ability purchase ironic T-shirts?
This is the face of terror!If Obamaâs unstoppable army of late-teen community servants doesnât terrify you, what if I told you that he was actively recruiting serial killers en masse, in an attempt to effectively end the entire human race? Well, you can thank those noble internet watchmen of the Right Wing Forums for the heads up, because they're the only ones willing to bravely report the truth: That Obama is just about to kick-start the apocalypse...by accepting a new non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation, and so could theoretically admit homosexuals and transvestites into his cabinet. How long until hell follows with them?
Holy shitâ¦it all makes sense now! Iâd be against Hulk marriage too, that shitâs an Abomination!
Say hello to your new president, the Black Panther, and his Secretary of State, hellfire.The Black Panthers are politically active African-Americans, and - hell, do you even need to know any more? Isnât that enough to be scared of already? Oh, and according to the Right Wing forums, they also desperately want to kill all the white people.
Wake up, sheeple!But one brilliant poster has got it all figured out, and unfortunately for humanity, it comes full circle:
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.