As you may have heard, it was announced recently that Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell will star as Sherlock Holmes and Watson in Judd Apatow's zany Sherlock Holmes comedy due out later next year. Even more recently, it was announced that Robert Downey Jr. will be starring in a second, competing Sherlock Holmes set for a 2009 release. Guy Ritchie will be directing this Sherlock Holmes, so it should be fast-paced, gritty and completely unintelligible like most of Ritchie's movies, or totally shitty, like his other ones.
Since Hollywood is a jealous, insecure, impulsive bitch, five additional Sherlock Holmes movies were announced, cast and shot within 24 hours of the announcement of Ritchie's Holmes. Yep. Worrying that Apatow and Ritchie knew something that they didn't, (how could they possibly?) five of the industry's most talented directors slapped together their own Sherlock Holmeses and, because I love you, I went out and watched every single one of these movies and my reviews are included below.
Martin Scorsese's Sherlock Holmes
At least one Rolling Stones song, guaranteed.
Spike Lee's Sherlock, Homez!
Guillermo Del Toro's Sherlock Holmes and his Horrifying Gang of Mutants
Tim Burton's Sherlock Holmes
Surecock Holmes [Adult]
Sex scandals were rampant in the supposed Golden Age ... they were just easier to cover up.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Who writes this stuff?
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.
Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.
I know this only because that's what people told me.
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