impossibly fertile women,
illiterate golden goblins, and
glorified strippers. People with no redeemable qualities or objective value were given the highest honor America has to bestow, (celebrity status), and somewhat disastrously,
more and more people wanted to join them. Once one person got famous for doing nothing,
everybody wanted in.
Real World begat
Road Rules begat
Laguna Beach begat
The Hills begat
The City begat
The Real Housewives Of… begat
Jersey Shore and so on. If my predictions are accurate, MTV will debut a show in early 2010 that just centers around one of the New Kids on the Block trying to fuck a monkey, and it will
destroy the ratings.
It's bad for culture, society and the economy when
everyone tries to be a celebrity, and Nature knows this. Just as the ratio of normal people to celebrities was about to shift in favor of the celebrities, Nature decided to strike back and straight murder a shitload of celebrities in no discernible pattern. Nature didn't murder the weakest, or the biggest, or the brightest or the fattest, she just murdered a ton of unrelated celebrities. Nature
couldn't even give a shit, she just wanted to send a message. That message?
Stop making celebrities out of brainless, self-important shit sacks.
This will happen every so often. If you, people of the future, start to get delusional senses of entitlement, and if your children start thinking "Hey,
I'd like to be a space celebrity some day, because what
I have to say is
important," then don't be surprised if all of your celebrities start eating it early in a big, big way.
Your Current Lack of President

I'm not telling you anything surprising when I say "You don't have a president or any governing body whatsoever." That's our bad. Or, maybe not
our bad, but certainly
someone's bad, we just ended up saddled with the blame. See, in 2009, between unemployment reaching new and terrifying heights and the economy being, as economist Paul Krugman put it, "waist-deep in shit sandwiches," something needed to happen in America. Something big. Instead, nothing happened. It marked the first time in history that a US President quit when former President Barack Obama scrawled "Fuck it, it's too much" on the wall of the Oval Office and simply walked off. He couldn’t fix everything, so he decided to compromise by fixing nothing and leaving office in late 2009. Honestly, though, no one's mad at him. He certainly
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