That's right, folks, you heard it here first (or, alternatively, in The Guardian). Due to time constraints related to this week's column, the Friday DOB article is the Saturday DOB article for this week only. (Editor's Note: DOB's column will now be running Monday. This was not his decision. His column is complete, and I am in fact rubbing it all over my nude body as I type this, so excuse any typos. - Jack) To suggest that my column is only late because I spent Thursday eating nachos and screaming at the basketball players on my television is positively ludicrous, and you open yourself up to legal action if you even
This should have resulted in years of therapy.
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.