Me: Excuse me?
KoD: Oh, mea culpa! "King" is actually shorthand. In reality, I'm a massive, pulsating rat king who lives inside the Epcot Center globe and incidentally happens to run the Walt Disney Company from the shadows. My existence is unknown to humanity, because only seven people have ridden Spaceship Earth since it opened in 1982.
"Yes, I'm just a 150-foot-tall pile of copulation and hantavirus."
KoD: Anyway, I've evolved a hive mind that affords me rudimentary speech and the boardroom savvy to oversee a global media conglomerate! You should have seen my predecessor. He was an entire flock of mallards that got their corkscrew penises tangled together. Yes, good ol' Donald Duck-c**k-Hydra! Employees hated that guy.
Me: So what you're saying is Disney is ruled by a cabal of freakish anthropomorphic animals?
KoD: Of course! Where do you think our animators get their ideas? But some of us have been more effective than others. Have you ever seen 101 unneutered dogs run a shareholder meeting in a tiny conference suite at the Waldorf Astoria?
Me: I have no idea how to answer that question.
KoD: You'll need twice as many mops afterward, hoho!
Walt Disney Productions
"And we don't talk about the grizzly bear in drag. He was all 'Gulags this, Mars Needs Moms that.'"