I can't get these images out of head, Roseanne.
[And, yes, I said "hamgina" because I've yet to see convincing evidence to dispute my "You're Technically a Well-Trained Pig" theory.]
On Totally Shocking Celebrity News:
Roseanne:
"i do not know brangelina and do not mean to personally impugn them as they might be good people in the flesh, but the media's images of them are smelly and vile."
DOB:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
You don't know Brad and Angelina personally? Please, allow me to let this
colossal shock set in. You don't know Brangelina?
You, Roseanne Barr, don't rub elbows with Brad and Angelina and George Clooney and the rest of the Hollywood elite? You mean to say that
you're not invited to all of their swanky wine, cheese and f**k parties?
Goodness, thank you,
thank you for pointing out the fact that you don't know Brangelina as I'd just naturally assumed that you always hang out with them because you're so relevant and charming and un-swine-like.
(
I am making fun of you.)
On The Media:
Roseanne:
"I must always attack the media's representation of what is good or cool, because those who inhabit the media world of glamour and entertainment and fashion and gossip are horrid people who have no talent of any kind, and yet think of themselves as tastemakers. taste my sandy buttcrack, tmz, and perez!"
DOB:
And there you go. Making me want to puke all over again. I don't know why your butt crack is sandy, that's your business and, frankly, I find it horrifying.
On Pissing Me Off With Spelling:
Roseanne:
"I think elizabeth hasselberg is a f'r s're closet case that wants to get whipped by sherri shepherd in a black corset while old babs slaps a riding crop on both of their exposed butt-oxes."
DOB:
Let me just catch up here while I wade through the series of consonants you decided to jam into your first sentence...Is that 'for sure'? Is that what you're trying to say? Why would...That's... 'F'r s're' is the
exact same amount of letters, I don't understand why you would do that. I hate you.
I'm out.
On Jesus:
Roseanne:
"jesus said in these days: "they will swallow camels and strain at gnats".
Whatever Jesus puts into my heart and tells me to be brave enough to say I will say."
Jesus:
She's bringing
me into this? That little pig b***h...
There you have it. My final review on the blog? If you're one of those people who, when faced with a terribly complex problem, decides to come up with an overly simplistic yet shockingly misguided and uninformed solution, Roseanne's blog sounds right up your stupid f*****g alley. If not, you can skip it and just go back to the way things used to be, (i.e., about a week ago when you either forgot Roseanne existed or assumed she'd politely and gracefully died of bacon-related complications years ago).
*UPDATE*: I made an account for and was subsequently banned from the Roseanne Barr forums. Neat!
Gladstone is pathetically insecure. Please acknowledge his existence on this f*****g social networking site because he thinks having a bunch of friends on the internet means he's a good person in real life. (It does not.)
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You can dress a pig up in flannel and give it a sitcom, but that does not make it a human.
Okay, no.
Because, I mean, Roseanne, it seems like when you hear "poor," you immediately think of a very specific race. Which, I gotta say, isn't standard. Because when I think "poor," for example, the first thing that comes into my head isn't any one race. It's "pee pee." Because poor people very often smell like pee pee.
Moving on, though, this issue is similar. How is this war a 'holy' war? "Poor" isn't a religion either. Is someone trying to convert the poor? To what? Also, who is waging this war against the poor? And how is it paying such 'great dividends?' Is there a lot of money to be had in racist holy wars against the defenseless and economically crippled?
Roseanne, I don't think you're very bright at all.
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