This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
If there's one thing pop culture of the 20 century promised, it was that robots would eventually do all of our work for us. Unfortunately, our modern world still remains RoboCop-less. But that doesn't mean we aren't getting close. In fact, thanks to machine learning, we are now closer than ever.
What is machine learning?
Put simply, machine learning is the ability of computers to sift through massive amounts of data and discover things on their own without being programmed to do so. Put even more simply, it's like hiring a temp who not only does everything that you tell him/her to do, but also invents a new filing system and orders you lunch because they noticed that you were getting hungry. Put simplest, the game-changing power of machine learning is the ability to go above and beyond without having to be taught.
Why is it suddenly trending?
Machine learning is not new. The term was first coined by Arthur Samuel in 1959. But the technology has advanced exponentially since Samuel first started using it to beat your grandpa at checkers. Machines can now do things that no human being ever could or should ever have to. For example, Pornhub (this link isn't for porn, it's for an article about Pornhub's use of machine learning, sorry) uses machine learning to sort through images and properly tag them, doing the work in a fraction of the amount of time that it would normally take and saving some sorry intern potentially thousands of dollars in therapy bills.
How does machine learning impact me?
Machine learning is poised to be as revolutionary as the internet, and can be used in almost any field. Here are five examples of current/future uses:
It seems like an ordinary commute. You're picking up the kids from school and blasting McGruff The Magic Seahorse or whatever children listen to in the future. You'd usually have your foot on the gas, but in your new fancy self-driving car, you notice your child choking in the backseat and quickly react to save their life without careening into traffic.
Sifting through seemingly identical medical images without losing focus is hard. Even the most dedicated healthcare professionals are only human (and probably coming off a 14-hour shift), and humans make mistakes. But machines can sort through images without a problem. They can even teach themselves to identify cancerous tumors in mammograms.
Being a store greeter is a hard, thankless job. But for machines, it's a piece of cake. They can teach themselves how to perceive human emotions and respond to everyone who enters the store with a personalized greeting based on their body language and appearance. We'd make a joke about that being a little creepy, but considering how your local Sephora greeter mugs you with questions the moment you walk in, we figure it can't get any worse.
You're watching Netflix, and the picture quality is good -- so good that you'd rather Netflix and Nothing Else than Netflix and Chill. But suddenly, everyone in the house jumps online and the Upside Down starts looking indistinguishable from the Rightside Up. But thanks to machine learning, Netflix can now identify online traffic patterns and reroute content to other servers so that your 4k binge of Stranger Things continues uninterrupted.
Hackers are growing more and more sophisticated, and it's hard for overworked security engineers to keep up. But machines can now teach themselves how to recognize subtle variations in server patterns and identify data breaches before humans ever would. Take that, Mr. Robot!
Why you should become a machine learning engineer
Machine learning is obviously world-changing. But until the machines can learn how to asexually reproduce, we still have to make and operate them ourselves. Fortunately, machine learning jobs are in high demand and very lucrative. The average machine learning engineer makes an annual salary of over $100,000.
There are several ways to go about learning these skills, like with The 2018 Machine Learning Bundle. This online ten-course bundle will teach you the ins and outs of machine learning so you can create and manage projects like a pro. Whether you're looking to join an existing company, apply your newfound machine learning skills to your own business, or just want to say cool things about robots at parties, this bundle will deliver the foundational skills you need. It may also result in people calling you "the machine whisperer." (If they don't, tell them to start. It's a rad title.)
The 2018 Machine Learning Bundle normally costs $843.92, but you can get one of the courses for whatever price you want. Beat the average price (currently under $20), and you'll take home lifetime access to ten in-depth courses.
The machines are working hard ... so you don't have to. Kick up your feet and enjoy the SelecTV By FreeCast One-Year Subscription with this Stainless Steel Double Walled Wine Glass With Lid, and let your robot butler do all the work.
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Not like this Hollywood. Not like this.
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Let's get a few things straight ...
Hindsight is the year 2020.