Beetlejuice Is The Ghost Of Batman

Because these movies take place in a different universe, and the two Keaton Batmans (Batmen?) stand alone.

This isn't how most people see the timeline, but we're pretty sure that's just because "reboot" wasn't a word in 1995. Batman's been officially rebooted twice since Clooney battled Schwarzenegger on a diamond-powered spaceship, so is it really so crazy that they snuck another one in there when we weren't paying attention?

Or just take a look at this shot of Beetlejuice's home, from the opening of the Saturday morning cartoon series:

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Look familiar?

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In fact, it's hard to find a shot in the entire movie where Batman would look out of place.

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"But Cracked, this is just because both Beetlejuice and Batman were directed by Tim Burton, and this dark, neo-Gothic style was his thing in the '90s. Are you saying that every '90s Tim Burton movie takes place in the DC Universe?" Not for sure, but hey, it's possible, right? Would this guy really look out of place in a Batman comic?

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So yeah, Beetlejuice is a ghost in the DC Universe, and the only reason Superman didn't save Alec and Geena from drowning at the beginning of the film is that at that same moment, Lois Lane needed help getting something out of the garbage disposal.

... a sawed-in-half lady from a magic show ...

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.... and a man we affectionately nicknamed "Mr. Squished-by-a-Mack-Truck."

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In fact, the only reason the Maitlands aren't walking around like they just climbed out of a sinking car is that Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis are big enough stars to be able to say, "No, I don't want to be soaking wet for this entire shoot, thanks." But Beetlejuice stands out. He has weird clowny makeup, is rotting (despite the fact that none of the other ghosts seem to decompose), has no morals whatsoever, and loves terrorizing innocent people. Batman, on the other hand, battles evils clowns, refuses to take anyone's life, pretends to be a fun-loving playboy in his off time, and uses fear as a weapon in his fight against crime. Beetlejuice is therefore the evil Batman -- he's everything the Dark Knight fears, both about himself and the world, rolled into one wacky, loud, prank-happy sonofabitch.

So imagine Batman battling the Scarecrow, when suddenly the villain manages to dose our hero with his newest concoction: a drug that doesn't just expose you to your fears, but also forces you to perceive yourself as the scariest thing you can imagine. Bruce Wayne then becomes a mish-mash of everything he fears: an undead clown who parties hard and can't help but try to destroy families. Then, right as Batman is overcome with the kind of existential terror that can only come from watching yourself transform into the things you hate and fear the most, he dies.

Which leaves us with the last question: Why the name change? Where does the name "Beetlejuice" come from? Well, as we can see in the movie, he actually spells it "Betelgeuse," like the star.

Wikimedia Commons

Betelgeuse is a star in the constellation Orion. And Orion, according to legend, died when he was poisoned. By one of his enemies.

So here's what happened: A dose of Scarecrow's fear toxin turned Batman into the embodiment of his worst foe ever. Then he rose from the dead to terrorize the innocent as a vengeful poltergeist-for-hire ... forever. Okay, look, even if you don't buy our theory, please, somebody go write the script for this Batman movie.

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Find out the worst thing ever done to the Beetlejuice franchise in 6 Insane Sequels That Almost Ruined Classic Movies, and learn how Batman is a homicidal lunatic in The 6 Most Brutal Murders Committed by Batman.

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