This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Music is your psyche's only protection, the last line of defense between you and the cruel outside world trying to eat your sanity. And there are a lot of things you can put in your ears that will play those blissful, soul-soothing tunes, but a lot of them are expensive, poorly built, or just really stupid-looking. Not these. These here rule.
On top of all the now-standard Bluetooth features you've grown accustomed to, like auto-pairing, wireless charging, and touch control, these AirSounds 2 also have big enough batteries to last four hours on a single charge, as well as a sleek modern ergonomic design. They even come with their own portable charging case, just to rub it in.
Normally $109.99, you can grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $39.99.
These are stylish and slick, with a scroll-shaped charging case that gives them the allure of a mystical relic. Are these a prophetic device capable of channeling a higher power? Who's to say? But we do know that with the Bluetooth 5.0 tech, you can listen for a long time, and the IPX6 water resistance means you don't need to worry about sweat or rain shorting them out.
Normally $149.99, you can get yours in the Cracked Shop for just $69.99.
If you want headphones that have a four-hour battery life, IPX-certified water- and sweat-resistant technology, and a built-in mic that lets you take calls on the go, then it looks like AirTaps built theses after reading your mind. (They also know you have a weird thing for feet, but that didn't come up here.)
The AirTaps True Wireless Earbuds with Water Resistance are available in the Cracked Shop for just $39 (that's 51% off the normal $79.99 price).
You may think that your wireless earbuds are wire-free, but the truth is that a lot of manufacturers sneak wires into their designs anyway. How do they sleep at night? We'll never know, but we do know that these earbuds are actually 100% wire-free, and use cutting-edge 4.2 Bluetooth technology to support their incredible minimalist design. You also get four hours of battery life without needing to charge, because they're nice like that.
Normally $119, you can buy them in the Cracked Shop for just $32.
These earbuds will stay in your skull no matter how active you are. Whether you're exercising, traveling, working, or just running in circles and waving your arms in an utter panic at the strange and terrible thing your life has become (don't worry, we all do it at least once a week), these buds will keep pumping tunes.
Normally $79, you can grab yours in the Cracked Shop for just $64.99.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Want even more ways to listen to all your favorite sounds? These 10 Headphones Are Music To Your Ears.
Things could always be much, much worse.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
You've probably never heard of it.