Cracked Columnist Robert Brockway, blurred for your protection Yes. See? Now this here is a perfect example. The Center for Disease Control & Prevention has a wing devoted just to the things that live in Brockway's beard, yet despite that he remains irresistible to women, even to the point of having a special stick he uses to beat them away with.
And why is that? Is it because he has a sentient beard who feeds him pick-up lines at opportune moments? No, in fact his beard is actually pretty vapid. It's because he's a funny, charming guy, who always knows where to find drugs, and those are features which are pretty attractive to a lot of girls. _______
Actually, has anyone seen Ted Danson lately? He might already be the Ted Danson of fucking pillows. He is so cool. _______
Whose job is it to solve crimes?
There is much to show you.
The cops will come swooping in the seconds the credits roll.
If there's any institution that doesn't want us to know how much it messes up, it's the military.
The most unrealistic thing about fictional villains is that they don't get arrested until the plot calls for it.