Liveblogs the VP Debates LIVE!

  • 8:00 PM Michael Swaim - Rossy?
  • 8:01 PM Michael Swaim - Danny? I think it's just you and me Jack
  • 8:01 PM Michael Swaim - We should make out.
  • 8:01 PM Michael Swaim - *makes out with Jack*
  • 8:01 PM Dan O'Brien - *Makes out with self.*
  • 8:01 PM Dan O'Brien - Where the fuck is ross??
  • 8:01 PM Ross Wolinsky - Sorry I'm late.
  • 8:01 PM Ross Wolinsky - Traffic was hell.
  • 8:01 PM Michael Swaim - MAKE BLOG GO NOW!
  • 8:02 PM Ross Wolinsky - Do we have an official Cracked TV network picked out? Because I would also like to make sneering jabs at the commercials.
  • 8:02 PM Ross Wolinsky - Michelle Obama looks like shit tonight.
  • 8:02 PM Michael Swaim - I'm on ABC.
  • 8:02 PM Michael Swaim - Because I love the Jackson 5
  • 8:02 PM Dan O'Brien - I'm on CNN.
  • 8:03 PM Ross Wolinsky - I wonder what channel Gladstone is watching?
  • 8:03 PM Dan O'Brien - He's been asleep for hours.
  • 8:03 PM Michael Swaim - Ooh, someone's smarter than the rest of us. The network of According to Jim is good enough for us Regulars.
  • 8:03 PM Dan O'Brien - He's very old, you see.
  • 8:04 PM Dan O'Brien - Are we live yet? Are we just...talking to each other?
  • 8:04 PM Ross Wolinsky - Old like a fox.
  • 8:04 PM Michael Swaim - If we are, then ew.
  • 8:04 PM Ross Wolinsky - WHY ISNT THE GIRL TALKING YET?!?!
  • 8:04 PM Michael Swaim - There's ALREADY a complaint in the comments
  • 8:04 PM Ross Wolinsky - I WANT THE GIRL ONE TO TALK
  • 8:05 PM Michael Swaim - WHOA! Who the hell is that?! But yes, please, make that happen.
  • 8:05 PM Dan O'Brien - We'd like to. Who are you? Where's Jack?
  • 8:05 PM Michael Swaim - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JACK?!
  • 8:05 PM Ross Wolinsky - SHES SAYING STUFF!!! LOL!!!
  • 8:06 PM Dan O'Brien - I'm calling him now.
  • 8:06 PM Michael Swaim - We're on, gentlemen. Pull up your pants and get political
  • 8:07 PM Dan O'Brien - I didn't start this debate with pants, and I will not be leaving it with pants.
  • 8:07 PM Michael Swaim - The splitscreen on ABC really let's you gauge the relative levels of "leatheryness."
  • 8:07 PM Michael Swaim - I heard on NPR that anything Biden says is going to seem like he's picking on a woman.
  • 8:07 PM Ross Wolinsky - What's wrong with his eyes? They look like coin slots.
  • 8:07 PM Michael Swaim - So basically, HE CAN'T LOSE.
  • 8:08 PM Michael Swaim - He wants you to apologize to his mule.
  • 8:08 PM Ross Wolinsky - New game: Add "in bed" to the end of everything Joe Biden says.
  • 8:08 PM Ross Wolinsky - (I just made that up)
  • 8:08 PM Dan O'Brien - You know, it seems like you guys have this covered, I'm just gonna go ahead and watch Hangin' with Mr Cooper on ION
  • 8:08 PM Michael Swaim - Her buzzword quota is off the charts!
  • 8:08 PM Dan O'Brien - Oh, shit, Vanessa got FIRED.
  • 8:08 PM Michael Swaim - A team of mavericks with a killer track record of bipartisanship? Fuck yeah!
  • 8:09 PM Michael Swaim - I'm craving Bugles.
  • 8:09 PM Michael Swaim - Ouch! Did the moderator just call her on bullshit?
  • 8:09 PM Dan O'Brien - Mr. Cooper, what are you doing complaining about crayons? You're crazy!
  • 8:09 PM Michael Swaim - I thought the moderators were supposed to be bland and inoffensive.
  • 8:09 PM Ross Wolinsky - Inside Sarah Palin's brain right now: Uhhh credit meltdown liquidity bubble
  • 8:09 PM Ross Wolinsky - STAY ON MESSAGE
  • 8:10 PM Dan O'Brien - "Stop corruption on Wall Street." That's it?
  • 8:10 PM Ross Wolinsky - You know what? I want to meet this Joe Sixpack character.
  • 8:10 PM Michael Swaim - He's hanging out at my place. He's now Joe Fourpack.
  • 8:10 PM Dan O'Brien - "If I'm Vice President, I'm gonna stop corruption...Just seems like a no-brainer."
  • 8:10 PM Michael Swaim - And he's pissed about the subprime mortgage crisis, I can telly ou that.
  • 8:10 PM Dan O'Brien - "And you know what? No more poor people. Am I missing something? No more poor people or crime."
  • 8:11 PM Michael Swaim - "Rainbows? Is that...yeah? Yeah!"
  • 8:11 PM Ross Wolinsky - That sounded pretty smart for a woman who didn't know that Fannie & Freddy weren't OWNED BY THE GOVERNMENT uhh... how long ago was that? Oh yeah... TWO WEEKS AGO.
  • 8:11 PM Dan O'Brien - I agree with Ross, I want to store my coins in Joe Biden's eyes.
  • 8:11 PM Ross Wolinsky - In these days of economic crisis, please, America: STORE YOUR MONEY IN JOE BIDEN'S TINY COIN SLOT EYES.
  • 8:12 PM Michael Swaim - They show weakness by looking at the moderator instead of each other. When will they learn: we just want a staring competition.
  • 8:12 PM Michael Swaim - I think you're underestimating how unsavory the retrieval process would be.
  • 8:12 PM Dan O'Brien - Okay, so last week Barack said "McCain is right" over and over again. Today, Joe Biden is saying "Barack was right." By transitive property, Joe Biden is doing more work for McCain in this debate than Palin.
  • 8:12 PM Dan O'Brien - Okay, I've started a new drinking game.
  • 8:12 PM Michael Swaim - Darn Right X 2
  • 8:12 PM Dan O'Brien - Take a sip whenever I want to have sex with Sarah Palin.
  • 8:13 PM Dan O'Brien - Up! Side on the people.
  • 8:13 PM Ross Wolinsky - Everytime Dan O'Brien wants to have sex with Sarah Palin, Joe Biden smiles.
  • 8:13 PM Dan O'Brien - "Bolster" *sip* "Heat up" *sip*
  • 8:13 PM Michael Swaim - See, your demeaning sexism is the problem with this country.
  • 8:14 PM Michael Swaim - If you want tits in the White House, keep your mouth shut.
  • 8:14 PM Jack O'Brien - hey I'm going to change the order so the new posts go up top, hold on to your butts
  • 8:14 PM Michael Swaim - I already was, is that okay?
  • 8:14 PM Ross Wolinsky - LOOK AT THOSE TEETH!!! THEY ARE AMAZING!!!
  • 8:14 PM Dan O'Brien - Her face is shockingly smooth. She's got, like, a truly gross upper neck, but her face is carved outta marble.
  • 8:15 PM Michael Swaim - All candidates are required to suck on a tray of bleach once a week. It's just AMERICA, dammit.
  • 8:15 PM Dan O'Brien - Jesus, that neck of hers. It's like braille.
  • 8:15 PM Michael Swaim - I like the christmas tree lookin' earrings.
  • 8:15 PM Ross Wolinsky - Did I mention Michelle Obama looks like shit tonight?
  • 8:15 PM Michael Swaim - YOu did. And no one laughed then.
  • 8:15 PM Ross Wolinsky - C'mon. That was gold.
  • 8:16 PM Ross Wolinsky - Gladstone would've laughed.
  • 8:16 PM Michael Swaim - Oh wait I get it. Shit. You're racist. That's funny.
  • 8:16 PM Michael Swaim - Gladstone laughs when a dab gruel from the corner of his mouth.
  • 8:16 PM Michael Swaim - I*
  • 8:16 PM Michael Swaim - Poor bastard.
  • 8:16 PM Dan O'Brien - You know, this whole election has been about Barack, McCain, and Sarah. I don't think anyone realizes that Biden has been sneaking around. Do you guys know anything about Biden? He is FUCKING INSANE.
  • 8:17 PM Michael Swaim - I hear so much about the middle class, but as a billionare Blogger, I somehow can't bring myself to care.
  • 8:17 PM Ross Wolinsky - The middle class makes me SICK.
  • 8:17 PM Dan O'Brien - If he proposed some kind of weather-controlling device tonight, I don't think I'd be surprised.
  • 8:17 PM Dan O'Brien - Biden's just this totally quirky, strange, odd little man that no one's listening to.
  • 8:17 PM Michael Swaim - I'm typing this on a diamond.
  • 8:17 PM Michael Swaim - That's the level of wealth we're talking about here.
  • 8:17 PM Ross Wolinsky - YOU HAVE ,Timezone:-5.2 MILLION IN ASSETS. THAT IS NOT THE MIDDLE CLASS.
  • 8:18 PM Michael Swaim - Like Kucinich.
  • 8:18 PM Dan O'Brien - Sarah's talking to the Government.
  • 8:18 PM Michael Swaim - That's because she actually thinks it's a sentient being.
  • 8:18 PM Dan O'Brien - Look at her swinging that head. She WANTS me to have sex with her.
  • 8:18 PM Michael Swaim - She imagines a large friendly man that she can have conversations with about votes and such.
  • 8:19 PM Michael Swaim - Bush must feel so abandoned right now.
  • 8:19 PM Ross Wolinsky - Question: If someone hates the government so much, why do they want to be the President?
  • 8:19 PM Dan O'Brien - Are you guys picking up on Palin's subtext? If you take every third word she says, there's a hidden message.
  • 8:19 PM Dan O'Brien - "Dan'"
  • 8:19 PM Dan O'Brien - She just said that.
  • 8:19 PM Michael Swaim - Biden far as I'm concerned, he's out of this debate.
  • 8:19 PM Ross Wolinsky - Dan: That's Biden actually.
  • 8:19 PM Michael Swaim - This country needs a President with vocal poise.
  • 8:20 PM Michael Swaim - They got 3 trillion dollars by taxing MY health care?!
  • 8:20 PM Michael Swaim - I knew that vasectomy bill was high.
  • 8:20 PM Dan O'Brien - You know, with McCain, we get about an additional 396 back each year, as far as taxes go. With Obama, we get about 1,100. Let's vote for Obama.
  • 8:20 PM Ross Wolinsky - OHHHH
  • 8:21 PM Ross Wolinsky - SOMEONE CALL 911 - WE'VE GOT A BURN VICTIM!
  • 8:21 PM Dan O'Brien - POW
  • 8:21 PM Michael Swaim - Did I meantion Michelle Obama looks like shit tonight?
  • 8:21 PM Ross Wolinsky - You did, but your Klan hood muffled it.
  • 8:21 PM Dan O'Brien - That's not Michelle Obama. That's Joe Biden.
  • 8:22 PM Ross Wolinsky - I thought that was John McCain. Damn - politics are complicated.
  • 8:22 PM Dan O'Brien - That was HILARIOUS.
  • 8:22 PM Michael Swaim - When is a candidate going to have the balls to stand up AGAINST affordable health care?
  • 8:22 PM Dan O'Brien - Oh, I'm sorry I switched over to Hangin With mr Cooper again.
  • 8:22 PM Michael Swaim - His eyebrows are perfectly level.
  • 8:22 PM Michael Swaim - I could use him to align a shelving unit.
  • 8:23 PM Dan O'Brien - Speaking of eyebrows, I want to have sex with Sarah Palin. look at those fucking eyebrows.
  • 8:23 PM Ross Wolinsky - Joe Sixpack thinks energy plans are BOOORRRRRIIIINNNNG.
  • 8:23 PM Michael Swaim - Her flag pin's got a pole and rope whipping in the wind. That's gotta count for something.
  • 8:23 PM Dan O'Brien - She's from Alaska?
  • 8:23 PM Dan O'Brien - This is the first I've heard of it.
  • 8:23 PM Michael Swaim - Joe Sixpack lives on Main Street eating Apple Pie and abusing his 2.4 children.
  • 8:23 PM Dan O'Brien - Say, does she like hockey?
  • 8:23 PM Michael
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