Don't worry about coming to Comikaze alone. Making friends is as easy as wearing this shirt, walking up to someone, and introducing yourself with, "I am Groot." It's impossible not to love Groot (at least the current version) and, thrilled you reminded them of the greatest character of our time, they will gleefully respond with their own, "I am Groot," before inviting you with them to watch the spittle fly from Stan Lee's mouth. Be careful with the "I am Groots," though. You'll know you've used too many (probably around the second consecutive "I am Groot") when people laugh nervously and slowly walk away.
The beauty of wearing this shirt at Comikaze is that it scores nerd points on at least two levels -- science and comics. If you're wearing it next to an original Atari or a roomful of Killer Queen cabinets, you'll hit the holy geek trifecta. And one must wonder what untold horror the arrival of the Silver Sagan signifies. Are aliens coming that don't find us cool? Are there planets made of diamond hurtling toward us from the cosmos? Or, worst of all, is the Silver Sagan a harbinger of Neil deGrasse Titan, Destroyer of Worlds? Surely someone at Comikaze will be there to give you a detailed analysis as to which.
Superman can answer every human cry for help, but he cares little about wrecking cars (or whole cities) to do it. And at some point classic cars would get fed up. With an also-city-leveling Transformer standing up for Automotive-Americans, a formerly one-sided smash-'em-up becomes a tale of revenge best transmitted manually. Who would win in a battle between Superman and the Transformers? We don't know, but we know where you can find some very opinionated people to hash that out with you.
Two shirts from Guardians Of The Galaxy?! Well, duh. Guardians is the best Marvel movie out there, and it probably will be for a very long time. (Just like Drax, we mean that very literally.) And we know that right now at least one red-faced fan is jabbing into their keyboard a retort so hate-filled it will place them on several government watch lists. Something about "Iron Man this" and "Avengers that." Well, save it. Come to Comikaze and we'll tell you why you're wrong in person.
Remember, Comikaze starts Oct. 28. So you'll want to order these shirts from the Cracked Dispensary as soon as possible. To get to Comikaze at the L.A. Convention Center, take the 405 to the ... you know, you're already on the Internet; just use MapQuest. You'll figure it out. See you there!
Recommended For Your Pleasure
The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.
- By Ian Fortey
- March 10, 2019
Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.
- By Seanbaby
- March 15, 2019
There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.
- By Boone Ashworth
- March 14, 2019
Given everything we know, there's cause to be worried about these movies.
- By Daniel Dockery
- March 20, 2019