Since the regular author of Cracked Science Corner!!!!11!!
is on vacation, I've decided to fill you in on a topic that is just as important, and probably has more truth to it than all those wishy-washy science "theories" like "man evolved from apes" or "Ron Paul did 9/11"---I'm speaking, of course, of the wonderful world of entertainment news!
I Am Cellphone Man
: Black Sabbath frontman and noted pooper-scooper Ozzy Osbourne has finally entered the 21st century, receiving his first cellphone
at the age of 59. However, daughter Kelly isn't so thrilled:
He never had a mobile before and I f**king hate it. He calls me all the time. I was out having dinner with my friends the other night and he called me and said, 'I've just got to tell you. I've been listening to your album. It's really good. I don't know why it didn't do so well.
When asked about the compliment later, Osborne noted that he was pretty sure he had been speaking to Beethoven.
Guess They'll Have to Make Do with Buttsex
: Forty years ago this month, Johnny Cash performed at Folsom Prison, and the result was an iconic moment in popular music history. An attempt to recreate the classic performance on its anniversary has been canceled
, however, much to the disappointment of the show's promoter and prison inmates: