Make sure to change the oil on your boat engine before you mothball it for the winter. Do this while the engine is warm, to help release any sediments or deposits in the internals. Using a pickup hose, flush the engine's coolant system with fresh water and antifreeze.
Finally, be sure to wipe the engine down with a spray lubricant.
- Awesome! That's like a hundred words right there I bet. But we will actually need a joke in here at some point skipper.
Finally, be sure to wipe down the engine with the blood of an adult salmon to gain it's strength.
- Mmmmmmm. Bit early for blood jokes.
Finally, be sure to lube the engine with a cloth and some spray lubricant. Really get in there, like your the Karate Kid, and the boat is a Turkish bathhouse, and this is a completely different movie. Youll' know your doing this properly if anyone watching you immediately leaves.
Whether you have propellers or an inboard drive, yo'ull need to remove any plant life or barnacles from all of the mechanical elements.
- Ok. Probably time for another joke. Should also consider starting up a running gag around here.
- But what? Well, what's funny? Penises, short people, hatchet attacks, the word "bowel" , throwing hula-hoops at giraffes at the zoo, bear-on-clown violence.
- And every one of them a cliche.
- How about I slowly drop hints that we're not so much winterizing a boat, as we are cleaning evidence off it after a horrific, not-very-accidental accident?
If you expect that you will find any bone fragments in there, remember to wear gloves.
Tip #3: Clean the hull
Be sure to clean your boats' hull thoroughly before storing it for the season. If your taking it out of the water for the winter, this can be easily accomplished with a pressure washer. Storing it in the water mean's youll need some training and breathing apparatus to properly clean the hull.
If your looking for a way to get all the semen off your boat...
- No. How about...
If your looking for a way to get all the clown semen off your boat...
- Hmmm. I like the idea of using a speedboat to run down a masturbating clown who is our enemy - this is a classic comedy scenario - but we've got to build up to it.
Barnacles, seaweed and other biological growth can be cleaned off with warm water, a light detergent, and simple elbow grease. But if you have reason to think there will be any damning forensic evidence stuck to your hull, consider using a hydrogen peroxide based cleanser, like OxiClean, as well as the cover of night.
- That picture of a lion humping a boat would go good here...