1.) The first and most important thing you need to do is develop a stoic immunity for spicy foods and, specifically, multiple chipotle peppers. Work on this step for about a year leading up to your neighborhood BBQ.
2.) Position the skewers 9.5 to 10 feet away from wherever you will be preparing your food.
3.) Shell and devein the shrimp that you yourself caught. Make sure you carry the 300+ pounds of shrimp in a giant sack, and when your Nemesis asks if you need help, assure him that you're fine, and that you wouldn't want him to strain himself and that, further, his alarmingly small hands are ill-suited for the work of men. [NOTE: The cooking only actually requires, like, a pound of shrimp. The rest is for establishing dominance.]
4.) Rinse the shrimp thoroughly and let them sit in the water.
5.) Cook the bacon in a large skillet over the fire you built, but only do it halfway. Name this process of not seeing something to its full conclusion, or doing something half-assed, after your Nemesis. (For example, if your Nemesis is named "Paul," you might consider saying "Yeah, the fire wasn't committed or thorough or attentive -- it really Paulled that bacon!")
6.) Prepare your spicy BBQ sauce, by mixing the peppers, fresh hand-squeezed lemon juice, half of the canola oil, garlic, sauce and chipotle peppers. Announce that one could simply throw the ingredients into a blender and mix them that way, but that you were never interested in taking the easy way out.
7.) Thinly slice your chipotle peppers with a giant axe much in the way, you might casually remark, former president Abraham Lincoln would have done.
8.) When the peppers are thoroughly chopped and the brutish yet precise nature of your axe-swinging forces you to perform the rest of the recipe shirtless, mix the chopped peppers with the rest of the sauce in a bowl or whatever. It's not important, everyone will be too distracted because you've ...
9.) Accidentally poured the remainder of the canola oil all over yourself, and the way your rippling, glorious, pectoral muscles glisten in the sun is impossible to ignore.
"Come to think of it, maybe the pants should go too, yeah?"