If a gay man is asked his sexual orientation in the forest, does he make a sound? Not if the gay man is Clay Aiken. Once again, people are hounding the former American Idol contestant for answers on his gayosity, and mums the word. Specifically, the allegedly heterosexual elders of a Wichita Kansas church are demanding "I'm not gay" assurances from Aiken before he is allowed to perform in their Christmas Church concert. Man, it gets harder to be Christian every day. I mean, I knew the whole pre-marital sex thing was bad. And gay sex was REALLY bad. But I had no idea it was a sin to listen to gay people sing. I knew I was going to hell, but not because I own
[T]he pastor... declar[ed] Aiken was a Christian who didn't 'drink, smoke, swear or womanise.' The clergyman also recalled interviews Aiken gave to Rolling Stone magazine and an internet site, in which he stated he was not gay.That sounds like a pretty solid defense to me. Of course, I predict the elders will persist with their inquisition, pressuring Aiken for the right to verify that his c**k tastes "sin free."
Sometimes it's just a matter of making the US Department of Defense look, like, REALLY cool.
Actual impending doom like global climate change or mass extinction just makes people bored.
In some cases, the Marvel source material just did better.