Hey, you're the one that chose to fight him.You turn to the approaching man-mountain with fists raised, your body humming with the burst of manic energy and the complete lack of coordination that the alcohol/codeine-psychosis has inspired in you. You decide to throw him off guard by doing something completely unexpected. Maybe you can make him think you're crazy. You charge at him, screaming, but at the last moment duck beneath his swinging fist. Your flying kick hits the zoo's mascot, Honey the Bee, square in the crotch. As he crouches in pain, uncharacteristically swearing and gagging into his headpiece, you know your course of action was a total success; nobody would have ever expected that. You idly wonder what exactly you were trying to achieve when attacking a stuffed bee was an imperative, but you have long since forgotten. As the hulking arms fold around your neck, your second to last thought is "oh yeah, the Eskimo." Your last thought, before the blackness comes, is unfortunately "I can never remember who did song that goes like
Bears and explosions: Everything a zoo should be.You leap the hurdle blocking the entrance to the park and, to the startled cries of onlookers, you jump the barrier to the Sun-Bear exhibit and duck through the maintenance door. A surprised young Native American man in a beige jumpsuit quickly tucks something behind his back. "It's cool, man," you assure him, "I'm cool." You make a Fonzie double-thumbs up gesture, because that is cool. "The f**k you doin' here, man?" He's still hiding something behind his back, and you subtly try to maneuver yourself around him to get a better view. He seems perturbed by your incessant circling. "Hiding from a giant Eskimo and an immense pile of a woman," you reply. Behind his back you make out the telltale signs of an illicit substance: a brown paper bag wrapped about a non-descript bottle. "Whatcha got there?" You inquire. "This? This is uh..." he eyeballs you suspiciously for a minute, but a few more mimed Fonzie gestures seem to set him at ease, "man, you're already fucked up! Haha! Okay, this is a little mix I made up for the days I gotta clean the bear cages."