Children's Toy + Date Rape Drug = Extremely Clickable Headline

In a move that shocked no one, China recalled another defective product this week. The twist this time is that the product was a children's toy called Aquadots, and the minor defect was that they are coated with the date rape drug.

Frankly, I’m having trouble believing this wasn't intentional. Tiny pill-shaped pellets coated in roofies and sold to American children? We've either got a lot more to fear from the Chinese than we thought or a lot less, because their toy manufacturers are clearly either evil or retarded, and I wouldn’t rule out both at this point. But honestly, what were they thinking? There’s no market for this product. Do you know how easy it is to get a kid drunk? All you need is like a thimble of Glenlivvet, not some fancy toy-pill. The worst/best part is that in
Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

their official apology, the manufacturers apologized for “damaging the ‘Made in China’ label during the Christmas season.” THAT’S how devoted to industry the Chinese are. Look, China, it’s fine if you drug my son. Hell, if I didn’t break out the Nyquil now and again I’d never get a full night’s sleep. But at least apologize for doing it, and not for hurting your country’s GNP. On the plus side, Aquadots are now selling for hundreds of dollars apiece on eBay to frat houses across the country.
To turn on reply notifications, click here

16 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

4 Surprisingly Insightful Plots From TV Sitcoms

These shows chose to go above and beyond.

77

5 Everyday Things With (Mostly Forgotten) Nazi Origins

Plenty of everyday things have weird connections to the Nazis.

120

5 Shocking Movie/TV Character Betrayals (That Make No Sense)

The thing about plot twists is that they almost never make sense on repeat viewing.

114

5 Horrific Acts Committed By Lovable Sitcom Characters

Sometimes the silliest goofballs get away with the vilest things.

110

6 Weirdly Terrible Books By Famous Authors

No author's bibliography is spotless.

136

5 Surprising Relationships Between Historical Figures

The coolest thing about being famous is that you get access to other famous people just as interesting as you.

37