This piece was written by the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Ahhh, stuff! Stuff is great. Do you like stuff? Of course you do. You're reading this on stuff right now. But what's even better than stuff is stuff at a discount. That's why we found you the best deals for ten of the coolest gadgets on the Internet. Enjoy!
Sometimes you don't want a pesky headphone cord dangling in between you and your Switch while you're pulverizing waves of Yoshis in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. The Nintendo Switch Bluetooth Audio Adapter lets you use any Bluetooth headset you want, so you never have to worry about an errant doorknob snagging your cord and therefore your victory (and possibly hundreds of dollars' worth of equipment) out of your grasp. Right now you can get it at 33 percent off its regular price of $59.99 for just $39.99.
Friends are nice, but tiny robot friends that act as Bluetooth speakers and dance to the music they play are even better. That's why you need the Dancebot Dancing Robot. (If you do not want said tiny robot friend, you are like a robot yourself and should question your entire existence.) Right now, you can get a Dancebot in blue, red, or coral for 37 percent off the retail price of $79.99 for just $49.99.
Cresuer's Touchwave True Wireless Earbuds are a lightweight earbud option complete with CVC noise cancellation, allowing you to block out all the background distractions at the gym or in your Uber Pool. Plus, they come with a portable charging case that provides up to four additional charges, so you'll never be stuck pawing the walls in a mad scramble for an outlet. The Cresuer Touchwave Earbuds normally sell for $99.99, but today you can get a pair at 60 percent off for only $39.99.
The MEMOBIRD Mobile Thermal Printer can print notes and photos from any device using absolutely zero ink. (Imagine the savings!) You can easily print shopping lists, handwritten reminders, and even stickers, making your daily chores / ransom notes untraceable AND fun. It's the perfect solution for when you need to print something but don't want to have to constantly buy ink for a gigantic clunky printer. Right now you can get one at 25 percent off the retail price of $79.99 for just $59.99.
The Apple HomePod is a Siri-enabled Bluetooth speaker that connects easily to your Apple devices to fill any room in your house with tasty jams or informative podcasts (or even that new Weezer album, we won't judge). It's also specially designed so that Siri can hear your voice no matter how loud your music is playing, so your desperate pleas for Chinese restaurants that are still delivering at 1 a.m. will not go unanswered. Right now you can get one for $329.
You'll feel the urge to stay up as late as you DAMN WELL PLEASE, MOM with the Classic Gaming Console. This highly portable HDMI-compatible console comes pre-loaded with hundreds of titles (over 800 at last count), and plugs right into the HDMI port of your TV or monitor for instant playability. Plus, it comes with two controllers, so you can ruin friendships with Street Fighter II just like in the good old days. Right now you can get one at 74 percent off the regular price of $199.99 for just $49.99.
The Bluetooth Beanie has Bluetooth speakers built right into the fabric, allowing you to enjoy your favorite playlists without your ears getting cold. You can even wear it to class and your teachers will have no idea you're nodding along to Ride The Lighting and not their lecture on the Federalist Papers. Click here to get one at 75 percent off the regular price of $59.99 for just $14.99.
The Professional Massager & Percussion TherapyGun proves that literally anything can be blasted out of a gun, even a massage. This device lets you deliver a soothing massage with pinpoint accuracy, whether you tweaked a muscle in a weird place after a workout and need some relief or your glutes are sore after a night of wheel-kicking criminals as a costumed vigilante. Right now you can get one at 66 percent off the standard price of $599.99 for just $199.99.
Accidents happen, and regardless of whether they happened because a turtle ran you off the road or because you didn't quite stick the landing after a gnarly jump, you need the InGear AutoXcape Emergency Multi-Tool. This multi-tool has an LED flashlight and two built-in escape tools for breaking windows and cutting seat belts. It's the type of thing you'll want to keep in your glove compartment, just in case. Right now you can get one at 20 percent off the regular price of $49.99 for just $39.99.
If you want the power to slice your vegetables with a blade worthy of a samurai, then you need to pick up the Damasukasu Japanese Three-Piece Master Knife Set. These knives are crafted using the same process designed to make samurai swords, which means they're sharp enough to cut intangible concepts, like mathematics or your love life. Normally this set sells for $599.99, but if you click here right now, you can take 91 percent off and get it for just $49.99.
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