CB: See? It's nothing. M: What was that? That thing that I jumped on. I ki... you killed it! You're a monster! It wasn't going to hurt anyone. CB: No, it'd have killed you. Trust me. M: Why should I trust you? Who are you? Hey slow down. Don't jump here! OW! CB: What? I just got you got a coin. We'll need that later. Hey, does that hurt? M: Does smashing a solid metal block with my head hurt? YES IT HURTS, DOCTOR ROCKET GENIUS. CB: How about this? M: OW! CB: So the brick ones hurt too. Huh. They look squishy. M: Listen jackhole! When I figure... OW!... out who you... OW!... are... OW!... I'm going to- don't eat that mushroom! Are you crazy? Oh! Oh fuck, yes! I am huge! CB: Thought you'd like that. Now you want to shut up for a bit? M: Yeah, yeah, you seem to know what you're doing. God. I feel fantastic. Look at this shit. I'm jumping like 30 feet in the air. This is sick! Wait till Luigi hears about this. CB: He can jump higher. M: What? You are out of your fucking mind. That little
CB: Told ya. M: Pop! Pop! Pop pop! Hahahahahah! CB: Heh. M: Whoa. Did you just kill a turtle? Not cool dude. He looked scared. I could have just jumped over him. CB: Uh-huh. Or maybe you could have run around him? M: What's "around" mean? CB: Nothing. Just checking something. ________ LATER M: OwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOwOw. Fucker! So what's the deal again with all these coins I'm getting? CB: If we collect a hundred of them, you get an extra life. M: Cool. Very cool. Followup question: Why would I need an extra life? CB: Hmmmmmmm. M: Hmm what? CB: Hey, check out that flag! M: Oh cool! _________ Level 1-2 M: So these blue guys are just like before, except now they're blue. CB: Yeah, exactly the same. We're dealing with a pretty limited palette I'm afraid. M: Oh! Careful! Watch the turtle! OW OW OW OW OW OW! CB: Shit. Sorry dude. M: You fucking dumbass! That really hurt! And now I'm tiny again? How does that work? CB: It's cool. I'll be careful. M: Oh you'll be better than careful. You're going to murder every turtle you see from now on. I mean it. Turtle holocaust. Go. ________
CB: Not a good plan. M: Holy shit! He's shooooooooting at us! CB: Hang on. M: Don't land on that axe! That's gonna kill! Hey. What just happened? CB: You won dude. Congrats. M: Boss! CB: Now run in there and meet the princess! M: Yeah! CB: - M: Who's this little turd? CB: Heh heh heh heh heh. M: Oh you bastard. _______
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.