This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.
If you want to be a developer (and you should, as it's a lucrative field that enables you to write giant equations on a wall without seeming insane), you need to make sure that you learn the most widely used coding language available. That way, you can put your skills to good use and avoid getting struck down by the vengeful gods of the internet. That language, of course, is Java.
Java has been around for over 20 years, but is still the most popular programming language in the world. Most programming languages tend to be niche and unilateral, but Java can be used to code a wide variety of programs, including server-side applications, video games, and mobile apps. Basically, if you had to be stranded on a desert island with one programming language, you'd want it to be Java. (And maybe also a volleyball and/or fresh water.)
Why should I learn Java?
There are five main reasons you should learn Java:
Java's got jobs
Every business, from one-person startups to evil mega-corporations, wants Java developers. And the reason is simple: Rather than hire one front-end developer and one back-end developer, a business can just hire a Java developer to do both. Plus, Java jobs pay well, with the average Java developer earning over $70,000 a year.
The jobs are quite varied
Java developers aren't forced into a single role like "Systems Analyst" or "Janitor Who Only Cleans That One Middle Toilet In The Ninth-Floor Bathroom." They can hold a variety of different positions, like software developer, web developer, web programmer, and application developer. They're like modern-day renaissance men, but without reserved parking spaces at Medieval Times.
The jobs are everywhere
Silicon Valley may seem like the gravitational core of all things tech, but there are Java jobs all over the world. Java can be found in preexisting platforms on desktop, mobile, and the web, and even up-and-coming fields like the "Internet of Things." It's like the Force, except people actually pay you to work on it, and you probably won't have to visit Dagobah very often.
Java doesn't cost you anything
Java is open source, so you don't need to spend any money to use it. All you have to do is download the source code, and you can instantly get started on your programming masterpiece. Just don't call it Java the Hutt, as that name is already taken.
Java's API game is on point
A language is only as good as its API (application programming interface), and Java's API is the best of the best. It's easy to work with and connects with many popular platforms, like Twitter and Facebook. If Java is the Lebron James of programming languages, then Java's API is it driving to the hole for an open layup. (Did that make sense? Basketball can be hard. Basically, Java's API is very, very good.)
How to learn Java
There are many great ways to learn Java online, but the best way is the Ultimate Java Bundle. This bundle includes over 100 hours of instruction and teaches you all the basics of website creation and app development. You'll also learn about popular tools like jQuery, Java Hibernate, and JCreator. Whether you're an experienced Java programmer or a total programming n00b, this bundle will help you level up your skills and become an employed Java master.
Also, learn how to Become A Professional Code Monkey In 3 Easy Steps.
Being a household name doesn't exactly make someone a role model.
Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.
Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.