What They Really Meant: The Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum

Here on the Cracked Blog, it's often in our interest to mock celebrities. We call it "our beat," because usually reading articles about celebrities makes you want to beat them. But frankly, it can get stale. It's pretty easy to do--most celebrities are terrible people or incredibly screwed up--and after a while you just start feeling sad for them. That, and you realize you're spending many hundreds of hours of your life writing about people you wouldn't cross the street to spit on. But occasionally, that old magic comes back. Some video or news item reminds you why you started doing this in the first place. Billy Bob Thornton's interview on the CBC radio show Q was such an event for me. In fact, the YouTube video of the interview officially moved him from my list of celebrities who I wouldn't mind seeing eaten by sharks to my list of celebrities I am actively trying to get sharks to eat. In honor of such a grand occasion, I sent away for (and promptly received) the DVD copy of said interview. Imagine my surprise when I found out the DVD version came with a never-before-seen subtext caption track! It's hard to explain exactly what that is in words, so why don't you just go ahead and watch it for yourselves. And thank you Billy Bob, for inspiring genuine hate in this jaded old blogger's heart.

When not reading minds, Michael serves as head writer for and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
You can also follow him on Twitter! But do it now, before he gets too self-conscious about promoting it at the end of his posts.
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