Advertising scientists have found that the later you stay up to watch TV, the more useless your penis is. Check amongst yourselves. The problem is, late at night is when
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Bloodsport comes on. And I was raised right, so I watch Bloodsportevery day. I've seen so many boner pill commercials that I know over 300 coy visual metaphors for putting your dick into women. For example, "Hot dog killing a mannequin." Less useful than that, I've also developed sympathy for the poor Enzyte mascot, Bob. Mangled by pharmaceutical enhancement and hiding behind a grin, he longs for the normal life he can no longer have.
This is his story. In...