Beatleohead, R.I.P.

beatleohead.jpgRock nerds everywhere were devastated today at the news that the long-rumored musical meeting between Paul "File Not Found" McCartney and Thom "the extra 'h' is for handsome" Yorke is not happening:
Paul McCartney was desperate to collaborate with Thom Yorke---but the Radiohead star turned him down. The former Beatle claims Yorke rejected an offer to work on an album with him---because he wants to solely concentrate on his band. McCartney says, "...I asked Thom to do a duet, but he said he couldn't because he only felt happy working on his own and Radiohead's material."
... or so he
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says. Yorke's refusal to cooperate with Operation Pauljuvenation could also be due to the following factors:
  • McCartney's insistence on working with archaic art form known as "songs"
  • Lack of enthusiasm among target demographic for first single, "I Get By with a Little Help from My Genetically Modified Robotic Angst"
  • Yorke insisted that consumers be able to download the album at a price of their own choosing, whereas McCartney preferred to release it on 8-track tape and Edison cylinder and sell it from the back of his van
  • The banshee-like quality of Yorke's anguished wailing was lost as sound waves were repeatedly absorbed by Paul's wrinkles
  • Scheduled recording date had to be scrapped after McCartney failed to show and was later discovered unconscious in a dumpster with a prosthetic leg-shaped indentation in his groin
  • Fan excitement dropped sharply after it was determined that time travel technology is not yet ready to arrange a collaboration between 1968 McCartney and 1996 Yorke
  • Audio testing revealed that the sound effects used on Radiohead's last three albums could induce seizures, pacemaker failure, and incontinence in McCartney's audience and McCartney
Although these two musical giants were unable to come to mutually agreeable terms at this time, plans are under way for a second, less publicized collaboration, between Thom Yorke's singing garbage-man and Ringo.
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