"Where do cats poop from?" is the age-old question children ask and parents struggle to answer. Let this pencil sharpener do the job for you, with its cool demonstration of where a cat's butthole is and what happens when you put a pencil in it. A cat's anus, as we all know, contains rows and rows of sharp teeth which spin at high speeds to sharpen any inserted object to a point. Not only is this a cool cat anatomy fact, but it's also an important lesson in teaching your child not to touch a cat's butthole, lest their finger get shredded by the anus dentata. Do remember to instruct your child not to place pencils around or in a cat's butt, as this will likely agitate the cat and cause it to scratch.
50 Toy Squeakers
The best way for your child to succeed in school is to be noticed by teachers. And what better way to gain attention than 50 toy squeakers being simultaneously squeaked? Even if one gets confiscated, there are 49 more to go. And if the teacher tries to pull the old "Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?" card, your kid can say, "Why yes, in fact I did!" The teacher will now be honor-bound to distribute 50 squeakers to the entire class. Imagine how much fun the children will have with all their squeakers, squeaking them over and over and over again! And think of the dialogue this will open with the teacher, who will quietly offer to give your children an A if you please stop supplying them with squeakers, because the tremors and ear bleeds are starting to make their job difficult.