Wow. So, I was away from my computer for about four days this week due to a sudden misguided monitor phobia, and didn’t get around to reading the comments on my incendiary Card post
To all of the "slippery slope" folks who claim that allowing gay marriage will instantly result in guys marrying their own children in multiples and then fucking a dog, may I say firstly that your idiotic claim is tantamount to claiming that by licensing people to drive cars, we are dangerously close to a world full of jet pilots and train conductors, and, secondly, would it really be
bad (re: the dog part)?
To everyone else, thanks for the comments, the reads, and the many many links to that essay
about why Ender’s Game
is actually about how we should feel sorry for Hitler. I still don’t buy it, but whatever; conspiracy theories are fun. That’s why I still maintain John Kennedy was killed by the Bush Administration in order to galvanize the nation against Iraq.
But enough hilarious riffing. Reading the comments on my Monday post made me realize that perhaps I was unfair. Perhaps I was a bit extreme, and presented one side of an argument without providing the opportunity for an opposing viewpoint to be heard.
And so, that no one may ever claim that I am opinionated or “human” in any way, I decided to make fun of something gay today. That way, all the people who thought I was progressive and open-minded can be politely corrected, and the mystery we call Michael Swaim will grow yet another layer deeper.
But what to mock? What’s timely and involves something gay that I hate? No, not cock rings. Cock rings are awesome. They make great gifts, and if you’re looking for a temporary plumbing solution and are all out of 1-3/4” washers, they’ll do in a pinch.
The clear answer is Clay Aiken, the