An Open Letter to Geico Auto Insurance

Dear Geico, Throughout the years, we here at CRACKED have all been big supporters of your innovative advertising campaigns. Yes, the celebrity endorsements for real people ones were kind of tiresome, but at least Mini-me got a job out of it; life always seems so hard for him. And while the whole Geico/Gecko thing can only be pushed so far, you certainly made up for it with your Tiny House spot, easily one of the funniest commercials on TV since that guy ate a spicy meatball. A fellow blogger has already discussed the Cavemen debacle, but hey, a commercial funny enough to be made into a shitty sitcom is still pretty good compared to most car insurance ads, which tend to feature poorly-animated superheroes, men in cowboy hats, or way too many taglines: “Now would be a good time to have accident forgiveness. That’s Allstate’s stand. Are you in good hands? We’re a car insurance company. You should peruse our offers for comprehensive collision insurance. Car insurance, that is. Allstate. Wacka-cha!" But we must take issue with your latest ad campaign, which features Behind the Music-like sequences and co-opts classic television characters in a cheap attempt at arousing nostalgic love in the hearts of lonely Gen-Xers. Example below:

Get off of CRACKED’S turf, Geico! That’s our gimmick, and if you don’t cut it out pretty damn quick, you may wake up one morning to find a charming British amphibian’s head in your bed. Sincerely, Michael “Hey, remember the Snorks?” Swaim
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