[Shortened to, like, five.]
Hi, Anne, it's me, Daniel. We met once or twice (probably). How are you? Good? Are you eating well? That's good. Good to hear. It's important to be healthy. You know a single apple can provide the human body with more energy than a cup of coffee. Did you know that? It's good information to have. I hope you're eating enough apples, Anne Hathaway.
Look, I'm not gonna beat around the apple bush anymore, Anne Hathaway. We both know what I'm hear to talk to you about. I heard about what happened through the apple vine. I heard you broke up
with your boyfriend, Raffaello Follieri. I also heard that he owes a bank something like
Also, he apparently hasn't filed IRS forms for his stupid nerd foundation for jerks.
Also he bounced a $215,000 check last April.
This must be, to put it lightly, a tough time for you, Anne Hathaway. You're probably hurt. You feel betrayed. A little lost. I mean, not too long ago
, you said you did things for Raffaello that you never
thought you'd do for another person, and here he is, the leading contender for Asshole of the Century. You believed
in this guy. You thought he was the one, and suddenly he turns around and...well, he's just not the man you fell in love with, is he? He's a stranger. You must feel
You shouldn't have to deal with this pain all on your own, Anne Hathaway. There's a better way.
Sit back, Anne Hathaway. I'm gonna go ahead and dim the lights just a little bit.
Goodness, Anne, you've had a long day, doing interviews and press junkets for