The third apology relates to why people simply didn't flee when I, the owner/operator of the Franks & Wangs cart began vomiting on them. Here at Cylinder Meats LLC, we honestly believe that most of those who stayed were sincere fans of the Franks & Wangs experience, and simply chose to ride out this unexpected setback, waiting patiently for Frank and Wang service to resume. However we do acknowledge that at least a few customers wished to leave but couldn't, due to the lengths of chains securing them to the
It sounds like a sex thing, and some days it is a bit of a sex thing, but on that particular day, no sir, not a sex thing at all.
The Terms and Conditions written clearly on the bottom of every Franks & Wangs wrapper outline the need for this - it's really an example of the sort of red tape that strangles the small business owner. Essentially, the city's health department has decided that there is a "public health interest" in not allowing either a Frank or a Wang to leave the premises without several lengthy OSHA and NIOSH forms filled in. In order to spare our customers this hassle, and as there is a loophole centering around things physically contained within people, no customers are permitted to leave the vicinity of a
Franks & Wangs was pronounced a "Best Bet" by the editors of Lowly Cur magazine.
On the subject of my vomit being flammable: the doctor I should probably go to would probably say that the ailments I probably have can only be cured with the application of repeated doses of plum wine, administered orally. It turns out that contracting for a chemical supplier to supply 75% abv plum wine is cheaper than getting it from a winery, and as I already deal with several such suppliers for business purposes, I was able to write-off most of these costs. The long and short of this digression into the haunted carnival of my medical history, is that I, many of my possessions, and all of my fluids are highly, highly flammable, and react poorly when aerosolized in the vicinity of a hot grill.
The fourth apology is the biggest one: I reacted poorly when the cart caught on fire, and I am sorry for it. Although not being cool under pressure is not itself a crime, I now appreciate that it is a really very necessary trait for the owner/operator of a