All Your Codes Are Belong To These 5 Training Bundles

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there

If you're a nerd who loves earning money, you might be thinking about getting into software development. To do so, you need to familiarize yourself with the most popular programming languages currently in use. Collecting these five programming languages is like collecting the Exodia of software design, in that once you have all of them, you pretty much automatically win. (If you don't get that reference, then you might not be nerdy enough for this career.)

The Ultimate Java Programming Bundle

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Java has been a top programming language for over 20 years, and the Ultimate Java Programming Bundle will teach you the ways of the Java warrior and how to use Java to start building apps for both Android devices and the internet. And you'll be able to afford it all without having to work off thousands of dollars of student loan debt by boosting cars for the mafia.

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In this bundle, you'll get access to eight comprehensive courses on everything from Java basics to Graphic User Interface (GUI) construction to certification training as a Java engineer, which will help you tornado-kick your way through the competition on LinkedIn. Normally this bundle costs $1,592, but right now you can get lifetime access to every course with a time-displacing 98 percent discount of only $29 right here.

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The Complete C++ Programming Bundle

Despite sounding like the grade you'd get on a book report you wrote after reading nothing but the back cover, C++ is one of the oldest and most versatile programming languages around. And with the Complete C++ Programming Bundle, you'll learn how to wield C++ like Excalibrit ... Exmachin ... Excelsior? (What was the name of King Arthur's Sword? We didn't read the book.)

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Packed with over 67 hours of instruction, the bundle will drag you kicking and screaming from C++ amateur to C++ professional, with step by step courses on both the absolute basics of C++ and incredibly advanced programming techniques. Normally the bundle sells for $628, but you can knock 92 percent off that price and get lifetime access to the whole shebang for just $44.

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2018 Essential JavaScript Coding Bundle

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Much like the Star Wars franchise, JavaScript will be here until someone explodes the sun, which is why anyone looking to jump on the coding bus should feel safe investing in the 2018 Essential JavaScript Coding Bundle. The bundle contains 11 courses and over 29 hours and 900 pages of good ol' fashioned e-learning on JavaScript, including web development, data structures and algorithms, and how to build apps with Angular 2. Normally the 2018 Essential JavaScript Coding Bundle sells for $921.93, but right now you can get lifetime access to the entire bundle at a thunderous 96 percent discount for only $29.

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The Ultimate Python Programmer's Bootcamp Bundle

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Python is rapidly becoming one of the most popular languages for web development and software support, so if you're looking to start a lucrative career in software engineering, you should throw down for the Ultimate Python Programmer's Bootcamp Bundle. This training bundle will blast your brain tissue with 45 hours of instruction on virtually every aspect of Python, including introductory courses, hands-on courses, how to use Python in web security, and developing apps for the web using Python and Django 2 (which, funnily enough, is not a sequel to the Tarantino movie). The Ultimate Python Programmer's Bootcamp Bundle usually sells for $814.95, but you can get lifetime access at 95 percent off for only $39.

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The Complete C# Programming Bundle: Lifetime Access

Mastering video game development takes being able to navigate C# like Nicolas Cage with a treasure map of our nation's greatest secrets. The Complete C# Programming Bundle will teach you how to channel your inner Cage by letting you build your own games for Android, iOS, and the web using the Unity engine.

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You'll also learn how to make a full side-scroller like Flappy Bird, a Metroid-esque 2D shooter, and a basic 2D multiplayer game, so your portfolio is chock full of material for prospective employers. If you've ever had even the slightest interest in game design, this bundle is where to whet your digital whistle. Normally the Complete C# Programming Bundle would set you back $1,393, but you can get your mitts on lifetime access to every course at 97 percent off for just $29.

Not the Droids you're looking for? Build your own with this DIY Robot Tissue Box Holder.

On the fence about these bundles? Trust us, Your Future's So Bright You Gotta Learn Code.

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