12 Abu Ghraib Torture Photos (Made Fun!)

Normally I try to remain politically neutral on the blog. It's not my place to tell you where to stick your genitals, or how to abort your babies, or which rifle butt to beat your spouse with. But when I realized former Vice President Cheney had accidentally CC-ed me a batch of photos from Abu Ghraib destined to be released to the public by the Obama administration later in May, I knew I had a civic duty to pull in clicks for Cracked by splattering them all over the Internet a week ahead of time. The ACLU have been trying to get the government to release the photos for a while now, hoping to build a criminal case against officials and guards who committed interrogation techniques they say constitutes torture. Meanwhile, the guys from the Bush Administration maintain that they worked within the confines of the law, and honestly, after seeing the photo packet Cheney is sending out, I think the ACLU might be overreacting. The email made reference to whether "they'll buy it," but man, if this is how the detainees were treated at Abu Ghraib, I'll buy a ticket there right now!
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Author's note: Because I can't take the heat, and because I don't want to get curbed, I'd like to thank all the readers who recognize this piece for what it is. Namely, a satire of an attempt by government officials to absolve themselves of torturing prisoners, something they should not be allowed to do in a sane world. If this piece offends or outrages you, my advice would be to find out more about the current efforts to prosecute those officials criminally. If you didn't find it funny, well, then, fuck you guy. Check back Monday.
Swaim is the "master of discpline" over at Those Aren't Muskets! You can also follow him on Twitter, where his level of activity is rapidly leveling off.
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