Abraham Lincoln had long arms, which makes sense, as he is the tallest president we've had. What doesn't make sense is specifically how long they were. They reached a length that many Cracked writers named Daniel classified as "superfreakgiant." According to William DeGregorio's Complete Book of U.S. Presidents -- a book that I keep on my bedside table every single night1 -- Lincoln "had disproportionately long arms and legs," and might have even suffered from the Stretch Armstrong disease, more commonly known as Marfan Syndrome, though "suffer" is hardly an accurate word. You wouldn't say Wolverine suffered from Claw Pox or John Holmes suffered from Awesome Dick Disorder. It's not exactly suffering if your disease is "I have massive arms that I've made even stronger by repeatedly swinging an axe every day of my life."
If you rearrange the letters in Marfan, you get "Arm fan," which is appropriate, because this condition is basically your body's way of saying. "I am such a fan of arms that I decided to make you more arm than man." (This is probably not where the name came from.) Normally, those with Marfan Syndrome also suffer from heart problems, but it looks like Lincoln just got the "inhumanly giant arms" aspect of the disease. This, combined with a lifetime of muscle-enhancing chores like axe-swinging and house-building, made Lincoln a force to be reckoned with by anyone with a shorter reach, which is to say, everyone except Mr. Fantastic and some gorillas. Several historians claim that, in his final campaign speech, Lincoln demonstrated his superiority as a candidate by juggling Democratic opponent Stephen Douglass and three of his advisers four feet in the air. It is largely if not entirely responsible for his victory.
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