January 26, 2017
Sally Yates goes to the White House to warn officials that Flynn could be open to blackmail by the Russians. Oh man! That's warning number two!
February 13, 2017
February 14, 2017
It's Valentine's Day, and love is in the air! According to memos written by James Comey, then-head of the FBI, Donald Trump urges him to drop the investigation into Flynn's ties to Russia. Word is Comey didn't feel comfortable with Trump, so he kept extensive notes on their interactions. According to his notes, Trump says "I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go." If that's true, many analysts have said it could amount to obstruction of justice and be grounds for impeachment. Trump probably never thought of that because he doesn't like peaches, only well-done steak.
April 25, 2017
Trump sends a text to Michael Flynn telling him to stay strong, according to Flynn. Because of course that happened.
May 9, 2017
President Trump fires Comey, the man leading the investigation into the his administration's alleged ties with Russia. The reason provided is that Comey bungled his handling of the Hillary Clinton email server (sure). Trump says he consulted with Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who had recused himself from the Russian investigation, as well as a letter drafted by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein.
May 10, 2017
Around now is when the shitsnowball gets pushed off the top of the hill and shit starts accumulating fast. Trump has a meeting at the White House, in America, not as a joke, with Sergey Kislyak and Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov. Never mind the widespread suspicion that Russia tried to influence the U.S. election in favor of Trump, they still got an invite. Who doesn't get an invite is American press, shunned in favor of the Russian media, which the White House claims was sheer trickery. They thought that Russian photographer was just doing glamour shots.
At the meeting with the Russians, Trump decides to share classified intel about ISIS garnered from Israeli sources. Word is the info is so top-secret that even allies like Canada and the UK don't have it yet. But now Russia does! Neat-o.
At this same meeting, Trump tells the Russians about firing Comey, referring to him as "a real nut job." He then goes on to explain that this will take the pressure off that pesky Russia thing and, as a garnish, tells them he's not being investigated.
May 11, 2017
In an interview with Lester Holt, Trump contradicts his earlier statement regarding the firing of Comey by stating, "When I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said 'You know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made-up story.'"
May 16, 2017
Trump goes on Twitter to explain sharing top-secret info with Russians. "As President I wanted to share with Russia (at an openly scheduled W.H. meeting) which I have the absolute right to do, facts pertaining to terrorism and airline flight safety."
Supporters are quick to point out that he's right. The president can declassify and share any info he wants whenever he wants. Critics point out that's kind of missing the issue, and everyone in the White House probably hurried to change their pin numbers and passwords, unless they wanted their nudes leaked to the Russians.
Officials are worried that Trump's disclosure put the life of an operative working within ISIS in danger. Meanwhile, a bot campaign arises, quickly picked up by FOX news, which accuses Hillary Clinton of murdering former staffer Seth Rich.
According to the story, a PI has evidence that Rich, who worked for Clinton's campaign, leaked info to WikiLeaks and was later murdered. The PI then says that's not true and that he'd heard it originally from a FOX reporter. Rich's family says it's not true and begs for a retraction, as there is no evidence from any law enforcement that Rich ever contacted WikiLeaks. Despite that, numerous just-made Twitter accounts which today are no longer active spread the story like creamy bullshit peanut butter until it went viral.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, all this news is apparently too much for House Republicans, who start turning on Trump and demanding to see and hear from Comey, as well as read whatever files he might have had pertaining to his investigation. Then again, none of them seem willing to impeach. In fact, John McCain says that talk of impeachment is not "rational." If he's ever engulfed in flames, he'll probably tell the firemen, "Now don't be hasty."
May 17, 2017
Ever-helpful Vladimir Putin says he has a transcript of the meeting between Trump and the Russian officials, which he's happy to share and will surely be trusted by everyone and isn't just Putin trolling hard as a mofo.
Meanwhile back at the ranch again, former FBI director Robert Mueller is appointed special counsel in the Russia probe by Rod Rosenstein. Most people take this as a good thing. Maybe not Trump, but most people.
Michael Flynn keeps things interesting by so far ignoring a subpoena. Waiting for a sweet deal? Who's to say? Maybe ask a Russian ...
May 18, 2017
Yeah, Trump definitely didn't like the Mueller thing. After special counsel is appointed, Trump says he's the victim of the greatest witch hunt in American political history and also says no politician has ever been treated worse than him. The internet explodes in guffaws and references to JFK, Lincoln, and Mandela. Others point out how he spent the better part of Obama's administration leading the birther brigade. But whatever, who has time for irony?
May 19, 2017
Trump takes off for a delightful trip abroad. At the same time, news breaks that Jared Kushner is being looked at as a "person of interest" in the Russia probe, and that investigators are now looking to see if White House officials have actively engaged in a cover-up.
Can you believe this was all basically news from one week? You should pour yourself a drink.
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