An Unforgettable (And Dark) Seinfeld Fan Theory

If you've never watched Seinfeld, just think about that friend that most people have who, in an attempt to console you after a breakup, will remind you that he didn't just cheat on you with one girl. He did it with six, so it's really his fault. This friend is constantly pitiable in his attempts to relate to a world that baffles, overtakes, and rejects him. This friend isn't so much a person as he is a "How Could This Go Wrong?" test subject in the grand experiment of life. George exists to filter potentially positive situations through himself until they become unrecognizable and awkwardly horrific. This would not change with something like the reminder of Pauline. And overcome with regret and guilt, the brother decides to end it all.

George's brother commits suicide, and it is essentially George's fault. Therefore, George's behavior, family dynamic, and almost all of the Costanzaic depressiveness of the show is given a shocking context.

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George: I can't park in a garage.
Elaine: Why?
George: I don't know; I just can't. Nobody in my family can pay for parking, it's a sickness. My father never paid for parking -- my mother, my brother, nobody. We can't do it.

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That would certainly explain George's intense zeal in making sure he gets the free space he wants, as a tribute to his recently deceased brother. Also, it would be typical of George to never be able to come to terms with what he did to his brother and never be able to properly ask for help in dealing with it. Outbursts, like this one over something as frivolous as parking, are the only coping mechanism that he has. His brother passes without ever being able to do something as simple as pay for parking. Why would George be able to?

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As would George's wildly uncharacteristic act at the end of the episode in which, upon learning he may have gotten a woman pregnant himself, he puts the woman's needs ahead of his own. He's extremely excited to find out that he is able to impregnate someone, but this joy goes past the basic pride that comes from knowing that you have proactive sperm. He rushes to her and promises to do whatever he can to take care of the baby, only to be told by the woman that she just got her period. A man discovers that he still may never have offspring or anything that will unconditionally love him. The signature Seinfeld bass line plays. Comedy!

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So it could be deduced that his brother's impregnation mistake prompts George to handle his own differently and that the grief of his brother's passing makes him shift in personality and become a lot more caring and empathetic, even if momentarily. It takes a hell of a lot for something to make George act un-George-like, but trying to right a wrong of that magnitude could possibly do it.

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Looking beyond that, George mentions in "The Limo" episode, very soon after "The Fix-Up," that he hurt his hamstring in a hotel room bed. Why would George have stayed in a hotel room? He's unemployed, so the idea that he rented one on a business trip is out. It's common to stay in a hotel room for an out-of-town funeral, which would've been his brother's. And considering George's relationship with his parents, it's also not surprising that he'd want to stay anywhere that wasn't near them. Speaking of ...

The death of a son would certainly prompt heightened sentimentality, which the Costanza parents demonstrate by continuing to display baby pictures throughout the house. And it doesn't stop there; not only is Frank Costanza's constant anger a potent clue but so is his prolific hoarding of TV Guides and old clothes. Also, his inability to part with the broken screen door represents something that is way more meaningful that just an old man who refuses to get rid of his old shit. Hoarding is a confirmed reaction to significant trauma, and not much is more traumatic than burying a good son and keeping a George.

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As for Estelle, you not only have her extreme sensitivity and melodrama but the very telling indicator of assuming that something bad has happened or that someone is dead whenever George decides to call her. The second clip is from the aforementioned "The Limo" episode, so the timing works out. And for someone so continuously heartbroken over a child's passing, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that she associates all of George's calls with a sad call that she once got from him.

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RIP George's unseen sibling. May you find the peace that will always elude your sad sack of a brother.

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Meet the real-life Kramer in 8 Characters You Won't Believe Are Based On Real People, and check out why George should never get laid in 5 Iconic Traits Of Fictional Characters (That Are B.S.).

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