Segment 2: Cooking Show
While her husband is assumed certainly dead, Chewbacca's wife Malla watches a comedic cooking show about a four-armed drag queen making a pot of smashed meat. It's around here where the viewer's confusion begins to form into a tasteable hate.
If you are against laughter and Star Wars, this will be the backbone of every future argument you ever have. If you love Star Wars and comedy, then this is like watching scientists saw your wife in half. A part of you dies with her, and that magic trick is ruined forever.
Segment 3: The Mind Evaporator
In this scene, Chewbacca's father Itchy sits in a hair dryer chair that plugs directly into his brain and generates his ideal sexual fantasy: disco sensation Diahann Carroll. And while this is great for him, it's wildly inappropriate for a holiday special. There's a reason Frosty the Snowman didn't have his dick in a Sno-Cone maker in the
draft of the script.
Segment 4: The Jefferson Starship Machine
In a Christmas tradition I'm sure we can all relate to, grandpa's masturbation is interrupted by government troops looking for revolutionaries. Imperial troops begin to search Chewbacca's home for rebel evidence, and Art Carney distracts them with a suitcase that plays Jefferson Starship music videos. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's f*****g crazy.
Segment 5: Boba Fett Cartoon
As his home is ransacked by stormtroopers, young Lumpy watches a cartoon. It's about Luke Skywalker and Han Solo trying to find a talisman of invisibility on a dinosaur-filled planet made out of goo. Now, to a child, that description alone is enough to send your spine into happiness spasms. So if you can take that concept and make it impossible for children to watch, you're worse with kids than Chris Benoit.
Apparently the cartoon is illegal in the Star Wars universe, because Lumpy keeps switching it off every time a stormtrooper gets close. Which makes his decision to watch it at the exact moment Imperial troops are milling around in his bedroom almost as crazy as the cartoon itself. If you're lucky enough to have never seen it, your luck has just run out. Because I can unfortunately sum it up in six panels: