Look at them. God knows what's in their vaginas right now.
And while it's possible that a teenager somewhere in the world tried these methods, this bizarre form of genital drinking is nowhere near the epidemic it's made out to be. At least, it wasn't before the news started teaching everyone how to do it. These stories spread like wildfire
This is where things get ugly for you, future me.
You're part of that constituency that wants these completely ludicrous stories about teenagers to be real. There's probably a similar story in your time about teens getting high by rubbing fermented breast milk in their eyes or something, and you're ready to believe it. You want to believe it because there is a part of you that is hunting for a motive to be afraid of teens, even your teens, and that part of you is not interested in reason or logic. I just want you to understand why that is so that you can overcome it. Naturally, facts and explanations won't do much to sway you, but I'm hoping that by writing this down now, you will remember it all in the future and realize why your hostility toward teens is making you an idiot and a bad person.
It's natural for you to be uneasy about youth. On the basest of levels, a young up-and-coming generation is a testament to your own growing insignificance. The animosity you feel toward teenagers is the same animosity old people feel toward technology; both represent an end to your relevance on Earth. It's only logical you would want to find faults in their new systems, proving you're still necessary in relation to the world. If that sounds off base, just look at the "dangerous craze" among teens in my day.