A Knight to Remember

kr1.jpgProviding new evidence for the theory that the American entertainment complex will never produce another original idea again, NBC has once more reanimated the putrid corpse of one of your cherished childhood memories and will proudly display this unholy monstrosity to the world this February under the bastard name of "Knight Rider." The movie-and-possibly-series is going to star a bunch of young hotties with fake boobs and chiseled abs who will no doubt bring an "extreme" edge to the show, in order to appeal to the 18-29 year-old braniacs who read magazines like
Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Maxim and Leathertits and drink that Coke with nicotine in it or whatever which the show's advertisers are so desperate to attract. Also joining the (extreme) fun will be a middle-aged sometime-actor named David Hasselhoff, who I've never heard of but who apparently achieved minor internet celebrity this year due to an entertaining video of the shirtless man engaged in a sensuous embrace with a chicken sandwich, lovingly filmed by his adoring daughter. But the real stars of the show are bound to be the cars:
Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

The three cars to be employed in the series include the KITT Hero---a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR that is playing the part of the everyday Hero car with 540 horsepower; the KITT Attack---a super high-speed version of the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR Hero car that transforms into Attack mode with the help of air-ride technology and specialized body parts---and a KITT Remote, which is a driverless Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR version of the Hero vehicle.
... all of which will be available on eBay shortly after the show's cancellation after three episodes (and replacement with "Law & Order: Spoiled Cheese Unit"). So for the right price, you'll then be able to say, "KITT, go pick up my stupid family," and the car will happily drive out of a truck's butt and take over all your most hated chores while you slowly grow deeper into the folds of your couch and await the premiere of "Airwolf 2008."
To turn on reply notifications, click here

38 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 Sex Scandals From Hollywood's Golden Age

Sex scandals were rampant in the supposed Golden Age ... they were just easier to cover up.

75

5 Wasteful Things Employers Do (Instead Of Paying Us More)

Forget 'morale-boosters,' we'd rather have the money.

160

5 Surreal Coincidences In Recent News Stories

Who writes this stuff?

60

5 Trends For Women People Get Irrationally Angry About

Trends among women trigger a level of contempt that's way beyond what is deserved.

257

4 Stories Of Ridiculously Evil Rich People From The Past

These stories remind us what unlimited wealth and power can do to a human being.

79

How A Surgeon Once Killed Three People In One Operation

Buckle up. This article is gonna be wild.

56