"That's not the part that's outrageous!" Cheer Bear shouted. "It's the committing a horrible crime part!"
"Cheer Bear! We must never turn our backs on a mission of Caring!" Tenderheart Bear growled. He had a strange look in his eyes, a long buried memory of a lost love suddenly resurfacing. "This is a good idea. She has to know how much we care about her. This is a very good idea."
The three of them ran down the alley, hearts racing.
"Where's the DVD player? Did you not understand that that was the sound of things going shitty?" Bucholz Bear gasped, his breathing labored.
"Fuck you!" Cheer Bear squeaked. "Where's Good Luck Bear? Where is he?"
"She shot him!"
"The crazy fucker pulled a knife on her and she shot him!" Bucholz Bear yelled. The three of them ducked behind a dumpster and caught their breath.
"We have to go back and get him!" Tenderheart Beart said, panting.
"He's gone man! He's fucking gone. Oh shit man. Oh shit." The three of them looked at each other, fear etched on their faces.
"Fuck You!" Cheer Bear squeaked.
"What's in that bag?" Tenderheart Bear asked, looking at the duffel bag which Bucholz Bear had over his shoulder. The bag was wriggling around.
"Nothing. Shut up."
"What's in that bag?" Tenderheart Bear asked again, more sternly.
"I told you what!" Bucholz Bear snapped. Behind them another gunshot rang out. "Holy shit! Run!"
The three of them sat heavily at a table in "Embrace," the sole bar in the Kingdom of Caring. "I said I'm sorry," Bucholz Bear muttered over the lip of his beer.
"I don't even want to talk to you," Cheer Bear said. "Our friend died today!"
Bucholz Bear squinted at her. "He was your friend? Really?"
"He was too my friend!"
"You never really liked him Cheer Bear," Tenderheart Bear said. "You always complained about his drinking. All the girls said he made them feel uncomfortable." Tenderheart Bear got off of his chair and laid down on the floor, exhausted. After a few moments, he asked, "What I want to know is why you stole her dog?" He cast a glance at the duffel bag sat on the floor beside them, now whimpering softly.
"I can't say for sure that I know why," Bucholz Bear said. "I think leverage? Is that right? Is that the word I want?"
"You petnapped her dog to get leverage to assist in your ability to care for your ex-girlfriend?" Cheer Bear suggested dryly.
"Errr ..." Bucholz Bear said.
"I can see the sense in that," Tenderheart Bear said.
"Can you?" Bucholz Bear asked. "Because I've been trying for awhile and haven't been able to." He sighed. "Anyways, on that note, I think I'm going to take off. You can keep the dog, you seem to have an idea what to do with it. I guess at minimum you could probably care for it. Ha ha ha! 'Care!' Like that's the thing you do! They should call me Irony Bear." Bucholz Bear sprinted from the room before anyone could correct him.
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