This is another poster that wants people to know the exact time the scene is taking place to complete the visual narrative, because knowing Bob Golic and the photographer stayed up 'til 10 o'clock at night to get this photo shoot done is going to give me a greater appreciation of the greasy-armed, mullet-headed football player pretending he's a dog. Arnold Schwarzenegger fought this same bad guy archetype in seven different movies throughout the '80s, and he killed them all with their own chain link clothing accessories.
Is his dog house a portal to Hell?
"Brett! Please, come in. Take a seat. I want to talk to you. I have to say, you've been consistently turning in great stuff. Top-notch work. Mark Gastineau as a caveman who does god knows what with those quarterbacks in that cave was a stroke of sheer brilliance. Exemplary! That said, some concerns have been raised about your Curt Warner poster."
*Brett, eyes unblinking, forehead glistening with flop sweat*: "Really?"
"Yeah. See, Brett, I hate to ask this but ... are you sure you've seen the movie Blade Runner?"
*Brett, pit stains increasing in diameter by the second*: "Yes."
Luis is having an inordinate amount of fun saying the name Mark Gastineau. Mark Gastineau. Mark Gastineau. Mark Gastineau. He encourages you to personally seek out images of Mark Gastineau. In the meantime, you can find him (Luis, not Mark Gastineau) on Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook.
See just how nuts the 80's were in The 4 Craziest Holiday Episodes of '80s Cartoons and find out why only in the 80's can rock stars dress in drag, but still deliver the most misogynistic lines ever in 5 Baffling 80s Trends (Explained by Rare Mental Disorders).
Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see why we're glad it isn't the 1980 Olympics in The 3 Worst Lessons Taught by 80s Sports Movies, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook because what's best for Cracked is best for America.