The Ultimate Fighter is a reality show about professional fighters struggling to get into the UFC. In 2005, it introduced us to Josh Koscheck, total dick. Young Josh spent the show playing mean-spirited pranks and mocking other fighters until they hated him. He's such an insecure douche that the DVD release dangerously interfered with the natural bacterial culture of the vaginas in Best Buy. Despite that, Josh found success after the show and has returned as a coach this season. So what did his five years of world class competition teach him about maturity and respect? It taught him that you're a nerd f*g for asking. And also, is baby going to cry?

Koscheck is belligerent like his name is Anonymous. He bullies fighters, coaches, medics, camera men... they try ignoring him or asking him to behave, but he only acts like that's some kind of victory. I knew I had to do something, so I began work on a series of Josh Koscheck insults. For example, Josh Koscheck has so little character that he'd punch his girlfriend for asking how she got chlamydia. Unfortunately, I was contracted to write a book at the time, and the publisher technically owned everything I was working on. Several poor decisions later, they released it as the following children's book:

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