I thought people stopped using this word, but they didn't. They did not. I was on a bus, and I heard some godawful latchkey kids saying it to one another in between gibbering proclamations of how great Maroon 5 is, which we all know is a bullshit lie. Maroon 5 sounds like what happens when a cat meets a sausage grinder on rough seas during a helium storm.
Justin Bieber may have appropriated this word from the Pirates of the Caribbean -- I'm not super up to date on how it winnowed its way into the lexicon, but I do know it relates in some way to looking and/or being cool. Ironically, you are no longer cool if you use the word swag, but such is the ephemeral nature of coolness. It is society's white whale.
Better Term to Use: A keen fashion sense
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When I first heard this term, I thought it was a sarcastic and/or joking sort of behavior similar to kvetching. Like, maybe it involved exasperation and dramatic machinations of some kind. Why did I think that? Because when I see a word with no context whatsoever, I just make up a meaning for it and then, later, if it turns out I was right, I can be amazed at my linguistic prowess. So far that's never happened, but maybe someday.
Apparently, this is totally and seriously just about using a vaporizer and is therefore so much more stupid than my initial guess that it represents a mathematical conundrum by creating a Mobius loop of fucktardedness. Vaporizers, man? Vaping?
This feels like someone trying to make VapoRub hip. Remember VapoRub? It's Vaseline mixed with eucalyptus and hatred, and every old person swears it cures a cold when mostly all it does is sear your sinus cavities open.
This year, don't vape. Just smoke your damn cigarette if you want to. Because smoke is a real word and it sounds cool. Smoked ham. Smokehouse. Smoke and mirrors. Vape has nothing. Sounds like ape and rape. Is that what you want? Stupid-ass word.
Better Term to Use: Still getting cancer
For more from Felix, check out 4 Ways Getting Older Makes You Behave Like an Asshole and 3 Shortcuts to Not Being a Terrible Person.
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