will. And yes, I like having no friends..
More like Chairman of the BORED
? Am I right?! Carrot Top sucks, right?! Brilliant..
#3. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE
Spike Jonze, one of my favorite directors, and Dave Eggers, celebrated author and founder of one of my favorite websites, McSweeneyâs Internet Tendency
, are teaming up to bring you Maurice Sendakâs classic childrenâs book. But only if I fail to destroy every last copy of the film once it's complete. I know, I know. You think the flick sounds promising. Letâs see if I can explain myself by answering your anticipated questions:
Q: Didnât you like the book?
A: Yes, itâs one of my favorites.
Q: Donât you like Dave Eggers? Hasnât his McSweeneyâs website been very good to you?
A: Yes on both accounts. If it werenât for McSweeneyâs Iâd have no friends in my Facebook account at all.
Q: Do you have some problem with Spike Jonze?
A: No, âBeing John Malcovichâ is one of my favorite movies of all time.
Q: What are you then, some kind of jerk?
A: I believe the word is blogger.
Yes, on paper this all sounds good. Too good. Let me explain. When I was a young lad I remember getting very excited about a little flick called
The Three Amigos
. I watched the commercials in wonder: âWait, youâre telling me Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short are ALL in the same movie! Whoa... thatâs like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
cool! Does the movie come with ice cream too?â
And, yet, we all know how that turned out.
Q: Wait, are you seriously panning a movie because it seems too promising?
A: Yes. Iâm difficult to love.
Wait, are you saying there's something wrong with The Three Amigos
Not all bloggers are jerks, Gladstone. I've tried to explain this to you before
#2. THE SIMS: THE MOVIE
1994's Street Fighter
wasn't a particularly noteworthy film, but it did prove an important scientific fact, one that remains relevant to this day: Movies based on video games suck.