People almost never end up legally dead, but it's a plausible enough case to consider here. If you've faked your own death, or pissed off the county's record clerk, or are on the run with Steven Seagal, you might very well find yourself in a situation where you're legally dead. And if the legal system considers you dead, almost everything you do will be outside the law. None of this has to be immoral at all; again, this isn't going to turn you into a killer. But breaking the law is more or less unavoidable, if for census reasons only.
Hitting books with a hammer? Yes, even that.
How you conduct yourself in this lawless nether-existence is entirely up to you, and will reflect your true moral character more than anything else you've done in your life. Will you work tirelessly to restore the justice that was robbed from you, via a series of capers? Fight against your enemies back-to-back with Steven Seagal in the parking bylaw office in the middle of the night? Or will it simply be more naked library time?
It's what Sensei Kevin would have wanted.
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and has less than a 5 percent chance of being Steven Seagal himself. As the author of the amazing novels, Freeze/Thaw and Severance he thinks you should definitely go buy both of those now. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
For more check out 6 Laws You've Broken Without Even Realizing It and 9 Insane Loopholes You Won't Believe Are Legal.
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