enough, depending on how you look at it - to get mixed up in their shenanigans, best to buckle your seatbelt and hold on to your hat. Remember: They can't die. How are you supposed to compete with that?
On the other hand, getting totally extreme can be an enriching experience. After you've almost fallen off a cliff trying to keep up with a bunch of vampires on dirt bikes, you'll appreciate the tedium and monotony of your soul-sucking 9-5 job enough to stay away from all those crazy vampires for a while. Because c'mon - hanging out with
What were you thinking
Vampire Fact #3: They can trick you into thinking you are eating maggots.
Like many supernatural creatures, vampires have special powers they can use to alter your perceptions in interesting ways. If you ever end up at a vampire rager, they might trick you into doing a beer bong that's actually filled with whiskey. But then, when the whiskey actually gets to your mouth, it might turn out to be beer after all. They just made you
it was whiskey.
Or if you go to the movies with some vampires, they might be like, "Hey, let's go see that new RomCom. All us vampires love
RomComs," and then when you buy the tickets they'll be like, "Why'd you buy tickets to a RomCom?
" Then you'll be like, "I thought you guys said you're all really into RomComs!" and they'll be like, "Pfff... dude, we're vampires
. You think vampires
are into RomComs? Whatever, man. Just go get us some popcorn." Then when you get back with the popcorn they won't even eat any, or they'll say they only like their popcorn when it has blood on it or whatever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is "vampires are assholes."
Vampire Fact #4: They like to hang out under bridges.
A lot of people like to hang out in bars and coffee shops. Homeless people hang out underneath highway overpasses. Children and pedophiles hang out near playgrounds, nerds hang out at the library, and recent immigrants go to these things called "cultural centers" that smell like weird meat and hold crappy dance parties on the weekends that you probably don't want to attend. Vampires are different, though, and unlike most of us, they prefer the homey atmosphere that only the underside of a suspension bridge can provide - preferably one with a freight train passing directly overhead.
While unbelievably dangerous to the average mortal, dangling over a foggy, bottomless abyss provides the kind of "extreme" thrill that creatures of the night go, ahem,